Angel >> Robert Downey Jr. If you thought your life was a mess, just look to Downey Jr. to put your troubles into perspective. The guy just can't get a handle on his addictions, recently adding an arrest for 4.5 grams of methamphetamine and cocaine to his ever-growing list of drug-related mishaps. (There was also, for reasons unknown, a Wonder Woman costume in his hotel room.) Not exactly an angel, say you? Well just consider his cherubic and telling interpretation of "White Christmas" on Ally McBeal this week. Truth be told, if he doesn't get his act together soon he'll be knocking on the pearly gates--an angel for real. And then who will we look to for inspiration?

Insect >> Generation Fat Planning on surprising your rugrat with a Sony Playstation II served up with a side of Butterball turkey this Christmas? It's time for Plan B. According to the latest Canadian study, the rate of obesity in boys aged 7-13 tripled between 1981-'96, and in girls the rate more than doubled. Researchers say the biggest problem is hours of video-game addiction, TV-gazing or otherwise avoiding physical exertion. And diet colas won't do the trick--the key, it seems, is something called physical exercise.