If Anaconda wasn't bad enough, there's a new giant snake flick out called Python. Oooooh, and it'll have you hissing. Robert "Freddy" Englund gives Anaconda's Jon Voight a run for his money in the "not so much bad as creepy and unsettling" acting department, and Casper Van Dien lasts about five minutes before getting cacked ("Uh, can we rewrite me outta here? I got a real flick to work on."). After Van Dien and his nature commandoes all die, it's up to some spunky, wholesome extreme mountain bikers to kill the snake. Shoulda been the other way around. At least that little weasel Wil "Wesley" Wheaton gets beamed off this mortal coil.

By comparison, that giant crocodile flick Lake Placid was actually entertaining. Bridget Fonda's a fox, Oliver Platt is funny enough to save most anything beyond Ready to Rumble, and the 30-foot croc actually looked good.

There's plenty more pickings in the "nature gets real big and attacks" category--frogs, bats, what have you--but my favourite is, to my knowledge, not to be found on video store shelves (dubbed my copy off the dish). It's called Night of the Lepus--Janet Leigh and DeForest Kelley fightin' giant, slo-mo, bloody-mawed bunnies. You gotta see it to understand just how bad bad gets. Rabbits?! Come on. Anyone know if this exists on magnetic tape? Let me know.

--Rupert Bottenberg