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>>> November 9, 2000
Far from kosher Child's play: Remember growing up with those "the more you know" commercials? They had popular NBC celebrities telling kids not to smoke crack or run out into traffic? TechnicalVirgin.com has a similar message for horny teens who want to get it on without getting in the family way. It's a simple idea really: abstinence doesn't work and birth control can be ineffective, so the clear solution is anal sex. There are testimonials from "real teens" and a video public service announcement you can forward to easily scandalized school board officials. Money = toilet: Jealous of all those nouveau-riche dot-com kids riding around in solid-gold SUVs? Well their time is at hand, and it's going to be one hell of a yard sale. For a while now, fuckedcompany.com has been documenting the undoing of the information revolution. Sure, financial sites may trumpet the latest startups set to IPO, but fuckedcompany will tell you who just fired all their workers, while laughing bitterly. Michael Citrome |
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>>> November 2, 2000
Far from kosher Mmm.. bacon: The Internet certainly doesn't lack in immature, rude, scatological humour sites. There are plenty of places to go to see ministers farting and furniture sex. But no other site pulls it off quite like ilovebacon.com. Every day brings a panopoly of cruel hilarity, in forward-friendly text, image, audio and video. Witness recent postings, which include a series of incomprehensible Japanese commercials featuring young schoolgirls and giant anthropomorphic raccoons with enormous swinging genitals. And no visit to ilovebacon.com would be complete without seeing photos of the Kuntz drive-in and the In-N-Out Lube. Artari: Let's get things straight. There's no video-game version of Princess Diana's death. Likewise, the latest Nintendo 64 release doesn't have any self-immolating Vietnamese monks. But you might be fooled into believing it does when you see this site. Screenshots is an online exhibition of famous events, some real, some fictional, rendered in video game style. Created by digital artist Jon Haddock, Screenshots is unique and powerful. View it at www.whitelead.com/jrh/screenshots. Michael Citrome |
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>>> October 26, 2000
Dial-up So cool: Wristwatch video cameras and artificially intelligent robot cats aren't something out of the Jetsons, they're some of the super-cool tech toys available right now. True gadget junkies' mouths water at the mere mention of a new advance in digital cameras. Keeping up with latest toys just got easier with I4U Future Technology News. Presented in a form similar to seminal news-for-nerds site Slashdot.org, I4U features daily updates on the latest gadgets from around the world. Impress all those know-it-alls who get their info from TV. Check it out at www.i4u.com. Wodka: iVodka.com is everything you wanted to know about vodka but were too snockered to ask. Aiming to be the most comprehensive source of vodka information on the Net, iVodka.com is the site for the erudite alkie. Off-line: This one's been circulating in e-mail and on ICQ for the last while, but here it is for the benefit of those not in the loop. Just follow these instructions: Dial 1-800-888-3999, listen to all of the options, hit 7. Michael Citrome |
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>>> October 19, 2000
Destroy all humans! Exterminate: Dr. Who is the show that scared the hell out of us as kids. Far from the colour-coordinated space battles of Star Trek, the BBC's take on sci-fi merged gothic horror with silly accents and Tiki-bar-meets-Dungeon-and-Dragons monsters. Plus, the flying phone booth was a little, well, conceptual for kids raised on X-Wings and the USS Enterprise. Of the many sites devoted to the travails of the good Doctor, one of the best is maintained by the BBC itself. The official Dr. Who Web site (www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/) features Dr. Who radio, an alien fact file and even an online gameshow featuring the vicious Cybermen. All you need now is a hundred tacos. Sumo power: Here in North America we have Robowars, where remote-control buzzing demons try to blow each other up with tethered spiky things. The Japanese have taken a more subtle approach to robot battles, blending the ancient sport of Sumo with modern robotic technology. Push the Robot-Sumo competition page at www.fsi.co.jp/sumo-e/. Michael Citrome |
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>>> October 12, 2000
Nude nerds! Cool toons: If you like your cartoons with a healthy dose of innuendo, violence, ethnic stereotyping, drunkenness and Irish-bashing, then Icebox.com should be your number-one recreation destination. There are over a dozen original cartoon series presented as three- to four-minute shorts. The cartoons are strictly classic Hanna Barbera style, but there are pretty big names attached to them, including Ren and Stimpy's John Kricfalusi and comic book bigshot Peter Bagge. With shows like Hard Drinkin' Lincoln, Jesus and his Brothers and the soon-to-premiere Queer Duck, how can you go wrong? Just make sure you have Flash installed to view the toons. Naked geeks! Inspired by a thesis project at MIT, www.geekporn.com is certainly a bizarre site. It's not bespectacled AD&D T&A, but there are nude nerds aplenty. From physics majors with their trousers down to an outstretched nude woman with Fermat's last theorem written out on her torso, this site lives up to its name. Whether or not that's a good thing is debatable. Michael Citrome |
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>>> October 5, 2000
More than meets the eye Kawaii! Whether it's Transformers, hyper-advanced remote-control cars or ninja schoolgirl action figures, Japanese toys are among the coolest in the universe. Sadly, here in the frozen north we get very few of the truly great Japanese toy lines. But if you want to gawk check out CoolJapaneseToys.com, a site that reviews the latest out of Japan with lots of big colour photos to make you drool. An added bonus are links to online shops specializing in import toys, although you will have to pay the usual exorbitant import prices. Slime: Exotic pet fads come and go. We've seen ferrets, snakes, llamas, iguanas, and pot-bellied pigs. The next trend may come from an unlikely source, the pile of mulch festering in your backyard. They're called Myxomycetes, more commonly known as slime moulds, gelatinous mounds of living, moving slime. Some of them can get quite big, and even glow in the dark. Learn how to capture and care for your own slime mould at Myxo Web (www.wvonline.com/myxo/). Michael Citrome |
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>>> September 28, 2000
Mothers of invention Undercooked: They say necessity is the mother of invention, but if that old adage was true, why do we have the harmonica or the lava lamp? There are plenty of great inventions that don't serve any particular pressing need. Chances are, you've come up with a few yourself. Maybe your friends weren't too receptive to your lowrider riding mower, but the folks at the Halfbakery (www.halfbakery.com) are. The Halfbakery operates on a simple principle: post your half-baked ideas in the appropriate category (home, health, car etc.) and other readers will comment, and maybe even improve on your brainchild. Then again, with ideas like air-conditioned underwear featured prominently on the site, maybe not. Fold here: The Japanese art of origami involves turning a piece of paper into a three-dimensional sculpture using only frustrating hand contortions. Fascinating, but the traditional goldfish and orchids are a bit on the dull side. Why not fold up some X-Wings and TIE Fighters and have a space battle? Star Wars Origami www.ftmax.com/ArtLife/ Michael Citrome |
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>>> September 21, 2000
Forces of evil Raw knowledge: Everything2.com is like a caffeine-addled all-night conversation with an intelligent friend. Forget old media constructs, this metasite is something that's only possible on the Internet. Start out by creating an account and posting something--anything--to the database. It could be your bio, a term paper about Danny DeVito's career, or a revolutionary manifesto. You're now creating a node. Once you have it all typed in, put [square] brackets around any word you want, and the system will link it to the node (posting) about that word. So in short, everything links to everything else, and you can spend hours just flitting from one topic to another--and they said serendipity was dead. SimEvil: What would happen if you combined strategy game, The Sims, with the satanic blood bath of Diablo? Well it ain't a tea party, that's for sure. From CNET's Gamecenter.com it's Diablo Meets the Sims. Hot tubs of fiery lava and brain-eating zombies are new additions to the neighbourhood. Embrace the evil at www.gamecenter.com/Features/Exclusives/Diablosims/?st.gc.fd.fe.i. Michael Citrome |