This week: Sun Ra, Redskins, masturbating teens!

Plus: Burning styrofoam question scientifically debated!!

"edited" by AL SOUTH
sub-edited by ROGER ARGENT

M

This is to that guy who called in about all the stupid French homeboy videos on MusiquePlus lately. Well, I don't know if you noticed this, you dumb fuck, but MusiquePlus is French and if you don't want to see French rap on MusiquePlus, you should go fuck yourself and watch MuchMusic, okay? So calm your fucking hormones. And another thing-- rap sucks in either language. [BLEEP!]

F

Hip hop is dead, techno is in and you English are stupid! [BLEEP!]

M

Rock is in, country is dead, and everybody is stupid--especially the Rant Line(TM)! [BLEEP!]

M

Skinhead reggae rules, black and white unite! Yeah, rude boy, we know our roots, fuck racism, fuck fascism. Those TREES are ours! Redskins!! [BLEEP!] [BLEEP!]

M

Hi, my rant is this. Anybody stupid enough to pay $65.80 for Limp Bizkit is a complete moron. [BLEEP!]

F

Hi. Don't try to warm food up in STYROFOAM containers because you will burn yourself. Not only that, but you'll probably be creating some kind of ungodly pollution inside your microwave that will come out and bite you on the ass. Don't do it, I'm warning you. [BLEEP!]

It's really not recommended to use styrofoam in the microwave. It will probably melt. If you use plastic the plastic molecules will end up being absorbed into your food and you will end up ingesting plastic molecules and after a long time of doing this you can end up developing CANCER. So I recommend that you use either glass or ceramic to microwave your food. Those are the safest things. Be careful with your bodies and be good to yourselves. Peace out. [BLEEP!]

M

Dude, don't worry about it, man, Styrofoam's melting point is 600 degrees. So as long as you're cooking whatever you're cooking in the microwave, you should be fine. Okay? Go. [BLEEP!]

F

Talking about bouncers who beat up on their clientele, one of my lesbian friends got beaten up by one of the bouncers at (names Stanley Street bar). We don't know why, but they say it was because she was in the boys' bathroom. But you know what? Upstairs in the same club there is a coed bathroom. So go figure. [BLEEP!]

M

Yeah, I just wanted to say that I rented Space Is the Place by Sun Ra the other day and I've got to admit it's the best sci-fi psychedelic blaxploitation propaganda flick ever. [BLEEP!]

M

Being KINKY is about having called and spent hundreds of dollars on TeleMatch for no reason at all without any kind of result whatsoever. And I'm still single! What a fucking waste of time. [BLEEP!]

M

Hey, it's Monday and I've been watching FOOTBALL for four hours and I'm wasted and I think it would be kind of kinky if a girl would come and suck my cock now. [BLEEP!]

F

Okay, I'm only 14 and I have no idea what to do. I'm fucking horny, man, and I can't stop fucking masturbating. Does anybody have a TRICK? Okay, call me, bye. [BLEEP!]

M

Hi, I was just sitting on de la Montagne and who should walk by but Harrison Ford! He was wearing a black turtleneck, tight jeans and he had on sunglasses and a little scarf. I was like, "Hey Harrison" and he was like, "Hey, how ya doing?" and I said "Good, good" and he kept walking. And I think that he's DREAMY. [BLEEP!]

M

I'd just like to thank FoxTV for bringing us such wonderful programming as The Sexiest Bachelor in America pageant. Jesus, I haven't seen so many fags trying to act straight since my high school reunion. I really can't decide between Mr. North Dakota and Mr. Missouri but one thing is for sure, I'd sure as hell like to see them get it on with each other. [BLEEP!]

M

To all those people who say that hookers are bad. Fuck 'em. They don't know. Hookers are pros just like a doctor or an orthodontist. [BLEEP!]

M

Somebody on the Rant Line(TM) was talking about big tits. Listen, there are so many beautiful, beautiful females in Montreal and SMALL TITS are so goddamn beautiful it's incredible! Small tits rule! It's not like big tits are ugly--it depends on the person. But still, holy cow, like, Jesus Christ, like, that's the best way to put it, small tits rule! Montreal females have to realize small tits are very, very, very sexy. Goodbye. [BLEEP!]

F

This is a message for all guys. When girls lie on their backs, their tits go FLAT. When my ex-boyfriend was in bed with me he seemed disappointed. But get over it--it's gravity. So just listen and appreciate a girl. [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum