Tears of laughter

>> The comedic grind of "funnyman" Neil Hamburger

by JOHNSON CUMMINS

Funnier than exploding cigars and cancer jokes, Neil Hamburger's unique knee-slappers blur the line between funny and downright hilarious. Don't expect the same old stand-up staples of airplane peanuts and fat ex-wives from this kooky nut! Just check out this nugget of mirth, from his album America's Funnyman: "I've been diagnosed with a case of funny-guy-itis and the doctor told me it's infectious (pause) and you'll all be coming down with laughter (rimshot)." Funny-guy-itis? Would you get a load of this card! Woo, that's rich! Not since the stunted comedic stylings of Gary "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis" Coleman have we been blessed with such hilarity!

Mirror: How did you start out in the field of comedy?

Neil Hamburger: I was in a youth psychiatric program and my counsellor suggested performing at a comedy club's open-mic night as a way to exorcise demons. That was many, many years ago.

M: Who are some of your favourite comedians?

NH: All of the dead ones. They're not around now and that seems to make them greater.

M: You have recently been the "sweat act" for a number of rock bands. Are you giving up the comedy clubs entirely?

NH: It's my management's decision. All the bridges had been burnt with me and the comedy clubs, so they had to look towards other avenues of booking. But thaaaaaat's my life!

M: You get a lot more hecklers at your shows than most stand-up comedians. Do you have snappy answers to shut them up?

NH: Not really, I just have to pray inside that they'll stop. A lot of these people can be very mean and it ruins things for the whole audience--who are mostly there for a laugh and to lighten the burdens in their own lives.

M: Have there been any incidences of violence at your shows as a result of your humour?

NH: There was a lot of violence in Australia when I performed for some of the younger crowds, opening for Frenzal Rhomb. Some of these kids are not what they seem. They look so sweet, but then they throw a bottle at you.

M: Many comedians have spun off and started their own sitcoms. Describe the one you want to do, called That's My Life!

NH: That's My Life! could be structured so that, every two or three sentences, the main character--me--would use the catchphrase, thus ensuring massive sales of That's My Life! T-shirts and novelty doorbells.

M: A lot of comedians have their novelty songs, such as Rodney Dangerfield's amazing sidesplitter "Rappin' Rodney." Can we hope for something similar from you sometime soon?

NH: We might do that in the future, possibly some novelty songs based on the Survivor phenomenon. People are hungry for that TV show and it would be nice to re-route some of that interest towards me.

M: Due to audience reactions, have you ever considered retiring from the comedy stage?

NH: I'm afraid that is not an option right now. I have too many alimony payments to make.

M: Why is giving the gift of laughter so important to you?

NH: Because it's the only gift I have to give. I have no choice. Some people, though, have tried to return the gift unwrapped. :



With Trans Am and Laddio Boloko at Cabaret on Saturday, Sept. 30, 10:30pm, $13