Slasher rehash

>> I know what you screamed when you saw Urban Legends: Final Cut

by GENEVIEVE PAIEMENT

Okay, here's the winning formula. Step one: put some cute, young, up-and-comers in a marginally scary, predictable college slasher flick, rustle up some publicity from Teen People and wait for the dough to roll in. Step two: wait a year or two and repeat step one, changing the stars and some minor plot details and call it a sequel. Step three: repeat steps one and two as needed.

Like the first Legend, Final Cut is about a psycho serial killer whose on-campus murders mimic urban legends. And just like the first movie, there's a decapitation early on, a slew of semi-funny one-liners, a flimsy, nonsensical plot, coupled with all-around bad acting and the character development of a Pringles ad.

Final Cut takes place at a film school where students battle it out for the prestigious "Hitchcock Award" which affords the winner a wad of cash and the chance to work in Hollywood. Amy (Jennifer Morrison), inspired by a chance meeting with the funky campus security guard, decides to make a horror/suspense film involving a series of gross-out "urban legend" killings. Then her crew starts dropping like flies. Bite your nails in terror as a girl wakes up in a bathtub full of ice and her liver's missing. Gasp in surprise as, one by one, all of Amy's buddies are killed off.

But who the heck is the killer? Is it the Pam-Grier-loving, sassy, female security guard, or the ugly, headbanger-esque loser who couldn't get into film school so assists on sets? Is it the dead guy's "twin brother" or that feisty, foxy lesbian (the one with the Love-Hewitt-style tits on the poster)? Or is it that dark-haired guy? Needless to say, there is a scene in a "Tunnel of Terror" haunted house ride and the climax takes place on a graveyard film set.

As a bonus, Blossom's Joey "Woa!" Lawrence (disguised as a mature "Joseph Lawrence" in the credits--yeah, right, Joey, like we didn't know it was you!) plays a cocky asshole with a director daddy. In any case, this is one awful, stinky little slasher. If you know what's good for you, you'll just skip it. :

Urban Legends: Final Cut opens Friday, Sept. 22