Caféïne Pornstar (Grognard/Fusion III)

DISC These local poseurs will have their franco fans' shorts in a knot when they hear main man Xavier Caféïne croon and moan in English on six of these nine tracks. On their second release, Caféïne can be found staring up at the stars from the gutter and it's not just the lingo changeroo here that shows these starry-eyed sleazoids grabbing at the rock 'n' roll brass ring. The perfectly-crafted title track and the infectious "Marilyn" have "hit" written all over them, while the bluesy Gun Club/Cramps sound of "Sometimes" and "Color of Love" is some of the best stuff happening in this city right now. These Quebecois may have turned their back on Bill 101 in search of the record label gold that lays down the 401, but with this much talent they just might get it. 9.5/10 (Johnson Cummins) CD launch at Café Campus on Mon., Sept. 25, 9pm, $6

Trans Am Red Line (Thrill Jockey)

DISC At 21 tracks, there's room for reiteration on Trans Am's latest, echoing the digressions initiated on previous discs. There's the icy, faux-kraut autobahn-mots, like "Polizei (Zu Spaet)," reminiscent of Futureworld. There's the closed-circuit click-and-hum jobs recalling The Surveillance. And like chapter headings, there's the minimalist steamroller rock abstractions "I Want It All," "Play in the Summer" and the pocket apocalypse of "Ragged Agenda" punctuating the playlist. But then there's the coarse jazz-rock indie-fications (note the label), the drum-dub and vintage-synth texture tracks, and even a purty lil' acoustic number. Satisfying for fans, and a perfect intro for the curious. 8.5/10 (Rupert Bottenberg)

Coldplay Parachutes (EMI)

DISC This debut disc by London's Coldplay exemplifies a promising new trend among U.K. exports after a lengthy dry spell (is that tumbleweed rolling across the Atlantic?). Besides a clear Radiohead-space--which seems to be common the world over--this darkly textured pop-rock with fearless, beautiful vocals, emotive lyrics, chiming guitars and melancholy piano place Coldplay square in the cult of Jeff Buckley and Nick Drake. Singer Chris Martin sounds remarkably like these two sensitive-singer-songwriters-who-died-young, while the largely mid-tempo tunes (and the occasional genius rock moment) will get your head bobbing and stop you from slashing your wrists. Probably. 9/10 (Lorraine Carpenter)

The Presidents of the United States of America Freaked Out and Small (Music Blitz/Koch) DISC

Freaked out, yeah, but sounding no smaller for their post-major reelection, the presidential triumvirate pack 'em in as punchy as ever--just try ducking and weaving around "Blank Baby," "I'm Mad" or the opener "Tiny Explosions." Simple but savvy is the formula for their partytime nerd-rock, balancing Star Wars references with fratty woo-hoos (make a fist, extend thumb, pinky and index finger, raise in salute). Invites inquiries as to the current whereabouts of their running mates in Weezer. 7/10 (Rupert Bottenberg)

Zebrahed Playmate of the Year (Columbia/Sony)

I had no idea that Blink 182 had an evil twin that could rap. Zebrahed's sophomore isn't a letdown, yet is a bit of a change from their debut--depends on how much sweetener you like in your music. It seems they wanted to inject a little more pop aesthetic to their mix, and if you like this kinda stuff, it works. You've got the obnoxious, fairly decent raps for those singalong-chorus-type songs such as opener "I Am" and then you've got those absolutely pointless, unoriginal 90210-for-the-crap-rock-generation tracks like "Now or Never." Watch out! They're goin' for the Smash Mouth crowd with the little ditty "I'm Money." 6/10 (Lateef Martin)

Various Sway and King Tech: the Wake Up Show Freestyles Vol. 6 (880/Nice)s

Sway and Tech are back with the next installment of their vast collection of on-air freestyles and battle rhymes from your favourite MCs. From the sloppy group writtens of Onyx all the way down to lyrical memory-tests with Saafir and Pharoahe Monch, this formula is tried and true. Jurassic 5 is here, along with bits from KRS, Sauce Money, and a cop-out radio promo featuring Choclair and Kardinall. Freestyle master Supernatural steals the show on more than one occasion; too bad he can't do it on his own records. 7.5/10 (Scott C)

A Vertical Mosaic No Nation No Blues (independent)

Like apple pie and nail bombs, some things are better homemade. The members of A Vertical Mosaic--who you may remember as West Island wonders the Jolly Bean Band--put this album together with loving hands and a microscopic budget. Despite being all over the place musically ("like a mad woman's breakfast," as the Brits say), this six-track disc has a full-on minimal appeal, balancing an art rock mentality with easy pop punches. From New Order electronica to bizarre percussion wank to jug-influenced pop to eerie soundtrack stylings, this is a fun little debut. So what if it's on the cheap? 7.5/10 (Lorraine Carpenter) With Agent Cooper at Jailhouse on Wed., Sept. 27, 9pm, $6

Kurt Swinghammer Vostok 6 (Righteous Babe/Festival)

DISC Here's proof the concept-record concept can still hit escape velocity. Part historical romance, part dry satire of the Cold War, part retro sci-fi romp, Vostok 6 is Toronto tinkerer Swinghammer's tribute to Valentina Tereshkova, first woman in space ('63, it was) and mother of the first child to parents who had both traveled in space. Despite the tasteful absence of an obvious narrative, Swinghammer advises against shuffle mode, unnecessary given the style-shifting he implements. From Bowie-esque balladry to Reichian textures to new wave kommie kartoons, Vostok 6 goes 'round in a graceful orbit. 8.5/10 (Rupert Bottenberg)

Ian Pooley Since Then (V2/BMG)

Few house DJ/producers boast as impressive a repertoire as Mainz-born Ian (that's Yan) Pooley. What's more, refusing to be squashed into a tiny little pigeon of a hole, the unstoppable Pooley has been widening said repertoire yearly, releasing bomb after house bomb of funky, pumping floorshakers on labels like NRK, Definitve, JBO and of course Force Inc. Now, it would seem, Pooley has been bit (not unlike quite a few others of late) by that pesky Latin bug. His second album Since Then is a veritable ceviche of saucy rumpshakers just mellow enough for enjoyable home listening and spicy enough for a raging dancefloor. Yum. 9/10 (Krista)

Various Obscene Underground Volume 3: Cock (Stickman/Song)

Keeping the old-school flavour alive and kicking--that's what volume three of the compilation series named for specific parts of the human anatomy is about (vol. one is called Tits, vol. two is called Ass). Vancouver resident and self-professed rave god DJ Czech unleashed his signature dirty, funky breaks for Cock, a raver/b-boy's wet dream of body-popping, breakdancing beats and basslines complete with Czech's famous scritchy-scritchy-scratch business over top. Now where did I put my Fresh Jive phat pants? 8/10 (Krista)

Photek Solaris (Astralwerks/EMI)

You might know Rupert Parkes, aka Photek, better for his formidable contributions the realm of drum & bass. After all, four years ago he lead a change in the genre with tunes like "Form and Function" and "Two Swords Technique." However, it seems that married life and a move to London has mellowed Parkes (albeit only slightly). His latest offering, his third album Solaris, contains some housy doings featuring the soulful voice of male diva Robert Owens (of "I'll Be Your Friend" fame), a couple of teched-out numbers like "Terminus," "Glamourama" and the title track, and some very heavy ambient soundscapes. Oh yeah, and there's one drum & bass tune in there, too. 8.5/10 (Krista)

Boyz II Men Nathan Michael Shawn Wanya (Universal)

The Boyz are back and funkier than ever. Problem is only two of the jams, "Beautiful Women" and "Step On It," are passable, and "Bounce, Shake, Move, Swing" is downright embarrassing. Once again the Boyz are best when they slow it down. Lead single "Pass You By" is as good as they have ever done. The almost-a-cappella "I Do" and the clever "Thank You in Advance" are also in the pocket. They won't make you move, but the Boyz can still make you listen. 6.5/10 (Gerard Dee)

Various Tighten Up Tighter: A Collection of Funk 45s (Pure/Nice)

Mixed in with thousands upon thousands of bad records are the choice funk selections that make up the dirtiest, nastiest, coolest kind of music that nobody heard. This comp is primed with only the real shit. I'm talking about the Groove Merchants, Soul Diggers, Piranha Sounds, or good ol' Brother Williams. All 14 tracks are what some enthusiasts would call "scorchers," hot tunes that you just can't believe went unnoticed for so long. Nice and rare, just the way we like 'em. 8.5/10 (Scott C)

DISC Chris Whitley Perfect Day (New Machine/Song)

After Chris Whitley turned the blues world on its ear with his debut record, he stumped his new fans with a second record which included a Jesus and Mary Chain cover and a sound more reminiscent of early Meat Puppets than Mississippi Fred McDowell. Now that he's stretched his legs over a couple more records, he re-emerges older and wiser, returning to his blues/folk roots with some glorious improvisational moments. On this cover album, paying tribute to Dylan, Hendrix, Lou Reed and more, Whitley easily steals the ownership of these classics. The ambient recording here is what lends to the intimacy, while the accompaniment of Billy Martin and Chris Wood make this a really special listen. 9/10 (Johnson Cummins)

Free Trade self-titled (Justin Time/Fusion III)

As the title may imply, this is a quintet of Canadian jazz musicians, all of whom have busy careers south of the border. Made up of Ralph Bowen on tenor sax, drummer Terry Clark, guitarist Peter Leitch, pianist Renee Rosnes and bassist Neil Swainson, the group is heard over eight tracks which include music by its members plus items from the pens of Miles Davis, Duke Pearson, Cedar Walton and Duke Ellington--the latter represented by the little-known beauty "Melancholia." Bowen, a native of Guelph, ON. who studied at Banff, is at Upstairs Sept. 22-23. 9/10 (Len Dobbin)





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