Walk on, Walker

>> What will Montreal do without Grayson?

by RUPERT BOTTENBERG

There's a long, dark cold spell coming up, folks. Montreal's D.I.Y. music scene, centred around various lil' dives on the Main, will be so much less rich for the upcoming absence of longtime fixture Grayson Walker. The silver lining, though, is that it's an excuse for a stupid quiz. Put on your thinking caps, folks--and ask yourself why you're not reading Harper's or something.



Grayson's splitting because he's: A) fleeing a fistful of paternity suits. B) taking an extended vacation in B.C.

C) now a star attraction on the Extreme Fighting circuit.

Answer: B. "I've lived here for eight years, so I think I can take a few months away. My plans include lots of trees, the ocean and maybe a boat."



Grayson's pre-departure gig at Casa del Popolo is going to be: A) a heavy metal meltdown complete with fire-breathing animatronic dragon and sword-wielding barbarian bitches. B) one man, one accordion, one last hope for planet Earth. C) something somewhere between A and B.

Answer: C. "It's gonna be pretty low-key. Casa del Popolo is pretty comfortable and I'll just play tunes with some of the people I've been playing with for the last year."



Grayson's special guests for the evening will include: A) Reverend Randy Peters and other Harvey Christian hellraisers. B) beloved TV funnyman Milton "Uncle Milty" Berle. C) his parole officer and possibly a rhesus monkey as well.

Answer: A. "Randy's coming down with some of the other Harvey Christians, and so are Ed Fuller, Jordi Rosen, Lisa Gamble and Jimmy Goodrich."



Basically a tearjerker career retrospective, the legend of Grayson will come alive through the theatrical talents of: A) Academy Award winner Kevin Costner. B) The recently-divorced ex-lovable-moppet Macauley Culkin. C) Some jerk with a squeezebox and five o'clock shadow.

Answer: C. "For this production, Grayson Walker will be played by Grayson Walker."

At Casa del Popolo on Saturday, Sept. 2, 10pm, $3+vegetarian dehydrated food (it's a long drive to the Left Coast)