Save yourself!

I couldn't help respond to last week's "Godless AA alternative" letter. I Ieft 'the program' years ago and found a far more civilized way of dealing with my addiction. My sobriety date is April 13, 1989, but the day I got my heart, mind and soul back was a few years later. I too was completely blocked on this theological conundrum that did not satisfy my needs. Then I discovered that the greatest threat to my recovery was in the obsessive need for people of my ilk to turn everyone into mirrors of their own neurotic image. I felt that, despite all the help I got, there was a nagging feeling that if I did not join the Church of AA, I was going to fail in my recovery. This idea alone would have undermined all of my efforts on a purely psychological level--if I let it. So I began to research the entire concept of addiction beyond the victim-based mind set which AA professes like a cult. While in the meetings, the finger was always pointed at some shortcoming in my emotional, psychological or spiritual make-up that would be my downfall. Many saw themselves as victims in need of salvation from the gods above. But it occurred to me, that I was not a victim, but rather a self-willed pin-head. My research led me to some European therapies differ from AA notions of addictions and recovery. The idea is to view drinks, joints and coke lines as units that are slowly reduced until a manageable level is achieved. This is a source of great consternation for AA. I can't tell you how often I've seen new AA members tormented by slips because of the ideology of complete and total abstinence as the only measure of recovery. Fact is, anyone who is really messed up is better off being on a reduction program than total abstinence (cold turkey). The cold turkey approach may be at the root of the delusion that recovery isn't total unless you've let God into your life. So for those trying to find alternatives to the AA-way, here's one that works. Don't place your recovery in anyone's hands but your own. If absolute abstinence isn't working for you, consider cutting the amount you consume with the help of an open-minded shrink until you arrive to a level of functional behaviour you are happy with and I promise, you'll find God a lot easier to understand then. Peace.

--G-Man

Poet with problems

Hi. It's me again. I'm writing to thank you for printing my last poem [[e]Mail, May 4] and also to try and slip another one in. I've had some feedback about the last poem and it seems like people like it. A few of my friends said, "Hey, I didn't know you wrote poems" (now they do). That's all very nice and stuff, but I'd appreciate some feedback from people that I don't know. So here's another poem, one of my latest. I hope youse guys like it, and if you don't--go fuck yourselves! No, no, just kidding. If you don't like it, write to the Mirror and maybe they'll put it in the next issue, and I'll read it and, who knows, this could turn out to be the beginning of... anyway, here's the poem, it's called "You think you got problems!"

Twenty dollars, thirty, no.../ This ain't no money problem/ Screaming there's a-plenty/ In a burning fit of fire/ Got a black-market baby/ Who's done her share of crawling/ Where is this road a-headin?/ I've lost touch with all desire/ Reality explodes!/ After paying to feel lifeless/ How can anybody know?/ When you got a little cash left/ You're forty turning ten/ And acting so damn selfish!/ Just stop, and tell me when/ You'll go sit back on the shelf?/ How can I leave this feeling/ That has given me all reason?/ How can I imagine/ To run down another road?/ Where were you that weekend/ When I lit myself on fire?/ You make it sound so damn easy/ I just continue to implode!

-- Cruciano, aka Cooch