Stuck in the '80s

>> The Replacements is football at its most bland

by MARK SLUTSKY

It ain't the '80s anymore, but sometimes it sure feels like it. Take The Replacements, a dumb but not entirely unlikeable new comedy from Howard Deutch, who lately has been grinding out dismal comedy sequels (The Odd Couple 2, Grumpier Old Men), but who once upon a time helmed Some Kind of Wonderful and Pretty in Pink. With a few minor alterations--say, casting Judge Reinhold in a major role--The Replacements could easily have been made in that strange decade of cinema.

The Replacements is such an '80s movie that the lead character--played by Keanu Reeves, no less--lives on a boat. Essentially, it's the story of some lovable misfits filling in for a professional football team, the fictional Washington Sentinels, during a players' strike. Our heroic scabs--who include Jon Favreau and Notting Hill's Rhys Ifans--must, under the tutelage of coach Gene Hackman, finish the season and win back their self-respect or something. It's all as formulaic as a soap opera; of course, there are all sorts of obstacles--snobbish professional players, low self-esteem--that this rag-tag bunch has to overcome. And, no surprise, they all come together under the most unlikely of circumstances.

Someone must've slipped a Valium in Deutch's coffee, because The Replacements feels like he directed it in his sleep, it's so lazy. How dare they play "Every Breath You Take" during a love scene? And the actual football scenes follow such a boringly tedious pattern--shot of a player, shot of a sexy cheerleader, shot of the coach, shot of a player again--that what could've been the film's redeeming quality, some decent sports action, ends up muddled and confused. The ending, too, must be one of the most abrupt in all of cinema, with a hilariously out-of-place voice-over (never before heard in the film), as Gene Hackman sputters out a couple of inspirational platitudes at the moment the final game ends. Without warning, the credits roll.

All this said, The Replacements' saving grace is the enjoyably enthusiastic performances of the cast. Reeves is okay, though he looks like he's having a hard time remembering his lines, and Favreau in particular stands out as a childlike, psychotic, ex-SWAT officer. The actors' energy actually makes the film pretty watchable at points, saving it from complete disaster. Otherwise, though, The Replacements is a mess, suitable for rental only. :

Opens Friday, Aug. 11