Lesbian moms still waiting

>> We aren't as equal as we thought

by AMY BARRATT

Two years ago at this time I wrote a piece for the Mirror about being a new lesbian mom. A matter of concern to me then was the fact that, as a non-biological mother, I did not have the right to legally adopt Georgia, or in any way to formalize my relationship with her.

Since then, both the federal and provincial governments have brought in omnibus legislation granting gay and lesbian couples rights and responsibilities in line with those enjoyed by straight "common-law" couples. So everything's okay now, right? Bring on the adoption papers!

Not so fast.

The federal law, C-23, entitles us to important things like survivor benefits, but it doesn't touch adoption, as that's a provincial responsibility. And despite the impression that may have been left by their self-congratulatory advertising campaign a year ago, the Quebec government's Bill 32 doesn't go there either.

When they brag that they've changed 28 laws and 11 regulations, it sounds good--until you discover that these include the Savings and Credit Union Act, the Act respecting school elections, and a Regulation respecting the application of the Act to promote farm development. Similarly, the federal law affects, among others, the Bridges Act and the Canada Wheat Board Act. I was lying awake nights wondering when they were going to update that one. All this activity in the Justice departments and I still can't legally give permission for my daughter to go on an outing with her daycare.

Continued double standards

In Quebec, a straight man can adopt his partner's biological child without being married to her, as long as the couple has lived together for three years. (Civil Code, Article 555). My partner and I have lived together for five, but there is still no way in Quebec for me to adopt the child I have been caring for since she was born.

"The Civil Code stipulates that any adult, alone or with a partner, may adopt a child," explains a document on Bill 32 prepared by researchers Irene Demczuk and Annick Gariepy. "At the same time, however, in the matter of filiation, the Civil code states that a child cannot have two fathers or two mothers. It is therefore impossible within the law as it stands now, for a lesbian or gay couple to adopt." (Deux: Un droit au coeur de nos vies: La reconnaissance des conjoints et conjointes de meme sexe, 1999)

Technically, the provincial government did adjust all of the laws and regulations applying to common-law couples or "conjoints de fait" to include same-sex couples, but it did so without touching the Civil Code which governs, among other things, the Family. The Civil Code contains many passages that deal with what we think of as common-law couples, but it gives them a different name, the slightly racy "concubins." The social democracy of Quebec is apparently not yet ready for same-sex concubins.

The political gets personal

Several months ago I flew alone with my daughter to British Columbia. Tucked into my luggage was a note from my partner, which I fervently hoped I would not have to use, in which she gave permission for me to travel with Georgia and make decisions on her behalf. If I had been travelling outside Canada, the letter would have had to be notarized. Even then, it would not necessarily have been recognized by a court of law. Had Georgia fallen ill or been injured on our trip I would not have been allowed to make decisions regarding her care, and in fact as a non-blood relative would have been at the mercy of hospital staff even for permission to stay with her. Co-parent adoption is not just a sentimental idea.

"Gay and lesbian parents have to assume that the law will not protect either them or their children," says Mona Greenbaum, co-founder of AML/LMA, the Lesbian Mothers' Association of Montreal." And they must go to great lengths to try to protect their children. They have to draw up all kinds of documents with notaries and lawyers and still these documents can be challenged."

Depending on your tax bracket and a lot of other variables, the new laws could require you to pay out a lot more than you'll ever collect in benefits. Bill 32 allows the government to deny things like welfare payments and student financial aid to a gay individual whose partner makes a decent living. Swallowing those disadvantages would be a lot easier if the playing field had really been levelled, if gay couples had really been granted all the benefits--not just financial, but social--that other couples enjoy.

For lesbian mums, it's not about the piece of paper. There's even something offensive in the idea that the government or the courts could proclaim me to be what I already know I am, my daughter's mother. Non-biological parents don't want this recognition just for show, or to make a political point; we need it to protect our families. l



Information on recent same-sex legislation:

Bill 32 (Quebec): Justice department summary of legislation can be read online at:

www.justice.gouv.qc.ca/anglais/publication/public/sexe-a.htm

Deux: Un droit au coeur de nos vies: La reconnaissance des conjoints et conjointes de meme sexe, (Demczuk/Gariepy) can be read or downloaded from www.algi.qc.ca/asso/table (click on "conjoints").

Bill C-23 (Canada): full text at www.parl.gc.ca/cgi-bin/36/pb_gob.pl?e

See also EGALE Web site: www.egale.ca/politics/politics/htm

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