At risk of turning this column into a nothing-but-trashy horror, I must focus on a film--and I use that word very, very loosely indeed--I forced a couple of friends to sit through on a recent rainy night. Don't Look in the Basement, billed as being brought to you by the same fine people who brought you The Last House on the Left, is sort of like a Last Sanitarium on the Left.

A young woman shows up at a rural mental institution, hoping to take up her promised employment as a psychiatric nurse. A strange female physician greets her, stating that she's sorry but since the hiring doctor was brutally axe-murdered, she can't honour the verbal agreement. Mysteriously, the young nurse doesn't flee the establishment, but rather begs for the job. The doctor shows her to her room, located at the heart of the institution, explaining that there are no locks anywhere in the building, including her bedroom door. The nurse, again mysteriously, appears happy to have the job. Multiple murders ensue.

It's hard to know what the worst aspect of this movie is: is it the utterly absurd script, none of which feels like it was intended as funny--or the acting, which features some of the very worst moments I've ever seen? If you like over-the-top crap, don't miss this one! :

--Matthew Hays