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This week: Egomaniacs, Berri metro pot, Plateau lore!
Plus: Cat suits with whiskers!!
"edited" by AL SOUTH M Yeah, this is Dom from Jailhouse Rock. I just want to leave a little message for Johnny Jackoff of the Vaginal Croutons. You guys went WAY OVER THE LINE and I just wanted to let you know that you're never going to play in my bar again. You guys really did a number on us, you know? There were a lot of women out in the audience and that was just going too far. I'm all into rock 'n' roll and good live bands, but that kind of shit is just not cool, man. All right? Later. [BLEEP!] M This is to the guy who says the local music scene is a bunch of trendy fuckers who can only play three chords full blast and think they're so alternative. What an EGOMANIAC. He's probably in a band and jealous that he's not a fucking rock star. I, personally, play in a band. I play in a touring band and I work my ass off playing shows outside of Montreal, in the States, in Canada. And it's these people who are keeping the scene down in Montreal, people who call in and bitch about bands here. Why don't you go look at a flyer--there are tons of them on the street--and go to the shows? There are a lot of good bands just starting and a lot of good bands that have been around for 10 fucking years!![BLEEP!]
F What's wrong with the people at the Zone? Don't they know how to SPELL? Every time I walk by, bands are misspelled, words are misspelled. It's just ridiculous. Absolutely. Gee, what's so complicated about putting up a sign for the band? The poor bands, they get their names misspelled. Learn to spell! [BLEEP!]
M The reaction that society has towards the subversives--or the ANARCHISTS, if you will--is, in itself, the downfall to society. For the more that society reacts to the subversives or the anarchists or whoever, they have failed in their mission of full control over society. Think about it. Think about the police brutality and all that's been happening recently--the World Trade Organization, Seattle, Washington, Windsor and all that. The fact that there's this large presence of police and political presence is a fact that they have lost. We will win! Long live anarchy! [BLEEP!]
M Yeah, I'd like to leave a message to that guy who says all the pot in the city is bad. He's an idiot, he doesn't know where to go. Go to BERRI METRO and he'll find all he wants to find, fucking dipshit moron! [BLEEP!]
M
To that idiot who doesn't know where to get decent pot. If he actually gets .5 for 10 bucks, he's a loser and he should be paying that anyways. I don't know anyone who gets, like, .5 or .7 for 10 bucks--only the lame-o idiots who fucking buy their dope at BERRI METRO. Later, idiots.
M Hi, this is Bob and Den. You know the girl who used to be in City Beat, Patricia Rodriguez, the one with the curly hair and the glasses? Well, we just rented Night of the Demons 3 and she was starring in it--better yet, she was naked! And she screwed a guy while wearing a CAT SUIT with whiskers and everything. So rent it and you can see her boobies! She has boobies and you can see them! She's naked! Okay, bye. [BLEEP!] F Hi, this is [someone claiming to be] Tam Tam Tits. Remember me? I think it's very important that we keep ugly people off of the Rant Line. It's bad enough that we have to look at them everywhere we go, but I don't want to have to read their ugly people rants as well. People can't help it if they're not [BLEEP!] M I'm just calling to say how much I like lesbians--well, chicks in general--but especially the ones that make out and touch each other and lick each other and stuff. And have blonde hair--that's a big part of it--and big tits. I love that stuff. I would like to ask a question. When I see girls in a restaurant and they're attractive, will they be offended if I go up and ask them if they want to have a threesome with me? So this is the question. For all you girls out there, if I was to approach you and your group of friends and ask you to have group sex with me, would you be offended? Please answer.[BLEEP!]
M I've got a question for all Plateau residents. What I'd like to know is just who the hell are Rachel and Marie-Anne and what did they do to get streets named after them? Did they fuck somebody? I mean, they're not even saints, they don't even have last names. So just who are they? That's all I wanted to know. [BLEEP!]
M Yeah, I've got a question. What was the best thing before sliced bread? [BLEEP!]
Next week: Open forum. |