A Cuban experience?

>> CaféCasa Cuba offers a mish mash of flavours

by SPANKY HOROWITZ

I grew up in the 1970s, which, in my opinion, was the decade before everything went to crap. My attempts to recreate this decadent era have got me collecting two magazines from the '70s: Penthouse and Gourmet. Penthouse because the chicks had some real meat on their bones (non-surgically enhanced) and Gourmet because the chicks had some real meat on their bones (non-genetically modified).

I recently read an article about 1970s Cuba that got me panting for Cuban chicks--the kind you eat (hey--watch that dirty mind!). I spotted an ad for a new place called CaféCasa Cuba, which bills itself as an "alternative restaurant/bar where music, dance, theatre and painting converge... CUBA IN MONTREAL." I figured I'd pay them a visit.

The menu board outside and the bandstand inside inspired me to grab a table post-haste. The staff seemed shy yet friendly, but their bashfulness turned out to be a cover for their lack of verbal English or French. While a piano soloist tastefully played Cuban (and other) dinner music, a crew of servers attempted to fill our water glasses with the precision of a team of virgin surgeons.

The side dishes and appetizers were okay, but uneven across the board. I'd steer clear of the deep-fried dishes, not only for their nutritional setbacks but also for their over-use of oil and batter, which upstaged the natural and unique flavours of both the malanga fritters and the tostones (fried young plantains).

On the other hand, the roasted ripe plantains were savory and sweet--just the way Spanky likes 'em! The "fried pork chunks" were genuine pork rinds, crunchy and salty! Mmm, mmm!

The "alternative" Cuban culture grew increasingly "alternative" as our meal progressed. The lone pianist was joined by an electric bassist who turned our light dinner entertainment into a frenzy of prog-fusion jazz. The band was soon joined by a dancer suspiciously resembling one of the waitresses from the water glass-filling ceremony. We had hoped for a tasteful performance of Cuban dance. What we got was a series of seductive gyrations and strip-club pole-hugging. I wasn't sure if I should throw money at her or ask her to get me some more water.

Our main courses were hit and miss. The roasted pork chop ($11) was just that, and a small one to boot. I expected a Cuban pork chop, but they gave me something that any old white lady could have made. The "Cuban fried chicken" had me dreaming of piles of spicy, deep-fried chicken with rice, beans and maybe a green veggie to keep it real--but alas, it was just a bland quarter-leg (I'm a breast man) with rice 'n' beans but no veggies. For 11 bucks I want at least a half a bird, and the word Cuban in the description definitely warrants some Central American spice. On the other hand, the baked red snapper was cooked to perfection, and I wouldn't hesitate to order it on my next visit.

Don't expect traditional Cuban culture or cuisine at CaféCasa Cuba, because you won't get it. What you will get is a cross-section of modern Cuban art, dance, music and of course, food. I just hope that the folks at this new restaurant/house of culture tweak their menu and activities roster before Castro kicks the bucket. :

Comments?. . . foodspanky@hotmail.com

comments?. . . foodspanky@hotmail.com

Le Prince

Address: 7385 Décarie (corner Jean-Talon)

Phone: 343-3355

Hours: 11am-10:30pm (closed Monday)

Best features: fresh fish, great grills and free watermelon!

Alcohol: yes

Vegetarian friendly: if you eat fish or settle for salad

Credit cards: yes

Wheelchair access: yes

Price:$11-30 per person, before drinks, tax and tip

Rating: *** out of ****