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This week: Brit indie snobs, Tam Tam garbage, dreadlock wax!
Plus: Flashing on acid!!
"edited" by AL SOUTH M This is for that guy bitching about Rock en Stock closing because nobody supported it. Well, that stupid fuck doesn't realize that the place was closed BECAUSE it was called Rock en Stock. Rock died in '88 with Quiet Riot and all those dummies. If Rock en Stock had any brains they would've changed the name to Techno en Stock or Hip Hop Stock. Merci beaucoup. [BLEEP!] M (without any discernible accent) This is for all the snobby, $200-shirt-wearing wannabe Brit indie wankers out there. If you knew anything about MY culture, you'd know the British music scene is about being POOR and taking people like you and giving them a ripe kicking. Also, Brit indie music doesn't get much exposure here in Montreal, except at places like Cybertek on Fridays, where Lorraine and Dan work fucking hard to put on a show so people like me can get through the week. You people don't even support the culture that you supposedly belong to! Fuck you and your hypocrisy! You are the reason Brit indie is in need of repair--not 'N Sync or Britney Spears. So shape up or ship out, shitheads. [BLEEP!] M I'm calling to give props to the musician who called about his promoter story. Good for you, for wanting to make 500 bucks--that's definitely nothing. I'm a musician, too, and when you take into account the soundchecks, the rehearsals, writing out charts, performing, travelling and everything else, $500 works out to about five bucks an hour. So stand your ground, man. Cool. [BLEEP!] M Hello, this is for that imbecile who called up the Rant Line to whine about how much money he wasn't making as a musician in Montreal. A word of advice--if you want to make money, go out and work. If you want to make music, play an instrument. You don't deserve to pick up a cheque just because you can go out and NOODLE around for awhile. And I'm willing to venture a guess that with the attitude that you've got you can't be especially entertaining as a musician anyway.[BLEEP!] M Yeah, I'm fucking pissed! Everyone keeps talking about how versatile the Montreal music scene is, but where the fuck are all the hardcore industrial bands and dark wave bands? I'm a fucking 25-year-old guitarist and I haven't found one serious fucking FREAK who's interested in making some real music. There are tons of people out there waiting for some live energy, but they're never gonna see it unless shit starts happening. If anyone feels the same way, e-mail me at jayk_g@hotmail.com. [BLEEP!] M Hi, I'd just like to ask that girl who had the guy jerk off in front of her in the metro if he was a short, scraggly, little, curly-haired guy with BIG GOGGLES. Because if it's him I know him. He comes to my restaurant and his name is PIGEON. I've named him the Pigeon because he's always snacking on some crackers. Anyway, the metro police know him and he's not allowed in any metros so be on the look out, ladies. Le Pigeon is in town.[BLEEP!] F Hi, this is Tasha, Chris, Sonia, Steph and Lesbo Rachel and it's Friday night and we're on my balcony on acid and we're trying to FLASH guys and there's no guys to flash and it's really frustrating. Where are all the guys when you need them? They're just not there! What is the world coming to? [BLEEP!] F I would like to say that with all the sushi bars in Montreal it amazes me that the men here still don't know how to eat sushi. I think you know what I mean by eating sushi.. [BLEEP!] M I don't know what's going on in Hollywood right now, but I just saw the movie American Beauty. The kid sells weed to his neighbour for like, $1,000 an ounce or something. That's too crazy! That's $1,400, no, $1,500 an ounce Canadian!! I don't know about you guys, but I don't pay more than $240. So we should tell these fucking Americans to get their story straight before they start pushing the price of weed sky high. The dealers are going to start thinking that there are gullible people out there![BLEEP!] M Yeah, this is for the guy who called in to say that Mount Royal is turning into a chemical wasteland because of bug spray and stuff to kill the white grubs underneath the grass. What about all the people who attend the Tam Tams and fuck it up by leaving all of their garbage and crap all over the place? I'll tell you what--at the end of the day, why don't you take your cigarette butts, your empty beer cans and all the other junk you leave here and bring it home and put it in your own garbage instead of fucking up Mount Royal?[BLEEP!] M Hi, I was just wondering--is there any place in Montreal where I can get some good natural soap for my dreadlocks, as well as some WAX. I would really be appreciative if you people could help me out. All right. Peace.[BLEEP!]
Next week: Open forum |