Damn Yankee!

>>

Horizons Political Consulting Agency president Ken Fernandez has a talent for imitating Canadian politicians like Chrétien and Joe Clark. But when he speaks in his own voice he sounds like no one you've ever even heard of.

"By acting as a stooge for the Americans, Lucien Bouchard is selling out the country--just like Vichy France leader Marshal Pétain did with the Nazis. Bouchard is trying to get the U.S. dollar adopted as the currency by Canada and the Latin American states--that's the real purpose of his economic mission to South America," says Fernandez, a McGill law graduate.

He asserts that this would result in annexation by the U.S., after which, "Bouchard would have all the symbolism and ceremony of office, but he'll be the stooge of the U.S., just like Pétain was for Germany."

But in the war of extreme words, Fernandez recently met his match in a former Horizons intern, Princeton graduate H. Michael Smith. In April, Smith sent out a piss-taking news release on Horizons' letterhead, stating that Canadians should abolish the government to save hundreds of billions of dollars, and allow the country to be run out of the American Embassy in Ottawa.

"I fired him as soon as I found out about that," says Fernandez, who says he suspects CIA involvement in the incident. : --John Edmonds

more news...