A tour of Cannes 2000

>> Bomb threats, Harvey Weinstein, psycho fans and why Calista Flockhart sends scripts back to filmmakers

by JOANNE LATIMER

No one wants to bomb at Cannes. But a different kind of bomb threat, involving actually explosives, cleared out the Palais during the gala premiere of the competition. Too bad a bomb scare hadn't cleared the press screening for the festival's opening film, Vatel. There's something inbred about Vatel having its premiere at Cannes: it's a 17th-century costume drama about a court chef, Vatel (Gérard Depardieu), who organizes les grand spectacles--à la Cirque du Soleil--in Vegas. Vatel is a perfectionist who can adapt to catastrophe and never go over budget. Director Roland could hardly deny charges of masturbating--or rather, "wanking"--since most of the cast has a British accent. Same old.

Meanwhile, Harvey Weinstein floats around Cannes like a luxury land yacht. He's the kingpin of Miramax and his every move along the Croisette is monitored.

"What's Harvey bringing this year?" people ask--meaning, what films. He gave Cannes an unforgettable jolt seven years ago with Pulp Fiction and no one has topped the hype since.

In the company of Neil LaBute

Harvey hasn't come through this year--not yet--but we have Neil LaBute to thank for providing the first big hit of the festival. Yes, Neil LaBute, that twisted guy who did In the Company of Men and Your Friends and Neighbors. The only thing more fun than Nurse Betty, his wacky comedy about a naive soap opera fan, was the press conference itself. LaBute and his actors (Chris Rock, Renée Zellweger, and Greg Kinnear) were giddy from fatigue.

"As you all know," said Rock, "I was raised just a few blocks from here in Cannes, so for me, this is all, like, same old!" Kinnear and Zellweger cracked up. Some idiot in the audience almost spoiled the mood by asking if Zellweger was the director's first choice for the title role of Betty.

"No, I was desperately hoping to cast a British actress," quipped LaBute, referring to Zellweger's controversial role in the Bridget Jones movie. Good answer.

Rock took the microphone, joking about crack, but was soon drowned out by a commotion in the hall. The press conference for the Coen brothers' new film was starting and a fan was screaming at the film's star, George Clooney. "GEORGIE!" hollered the psycho, waving a pen and a headshot of Clooney as ER's Dr. Ross. I ducked out to see if Clooney had signed the autograph or if the guy had disappeared. He signed, visibly shaken. I crashed the conference. Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?, the Coens' film, rivals Nurse Betty as the darling of the festival so far.

"I would never do another Coen brothers movie," deadpanned Clooney. "They're more than just brothers." No one expected him to be funny so the laughs came late. He shot a helpless look at co-star John Turturro, who shrugged, grinning.

In the film they play escaped cons with bad teeth. Music sets the cracker tone and there's even some singing. "You see, the characters--my character more than George's--are represented by their teeth," explains Turturro. "It's a big statement about the importance of dentistry." The actor then flashed a toothy smile to reveal his uneven chompers. "Exactly," added Clooney. "And I just want to keep on making country musicals about dentistry."

The X-rays of Calista

Flockhart

Matching Clooney's status as a TV-turned-film star along the Croisette is Calista Flockhart. Is she really that thin? Like an X-ray. She was one of the actors who worked for free on Rodrigo Garcia's wonderful film, Things You Can Tell Just by Looking at Her. It would take the son of Gabriel Garcia Marquez to write a film with that title and actually get it made. The son of the famed scribe made his first feature with Flockhart, Amy Brenneman, Holly Hunter, Glenn Close and Cameron Diaz. Some of the girls are in Cannes on the cheap to help promote the film. "Rodrigo gave us such a believable film because he has a big woman living inside him," joked Hunter. Garcia was lovin' it.

"We're all pretty sick of playing the mute support system for big, powerful men," said Brenneman, looking classy beside the bedraggled Flockhart--who really does touch her lips in that annoying fashion.

Ally did her bit for feminism by adding, "Most of the scripts I get? I send back with a note saying, 'I want to play Bob's part.' I think if women want to work they have to create their own projects." She stopped twirling her diamond earrings only long enough to put down the microphone.

That's when Hunter cut in to shift the topic of conversation. Hunter riffed for a while on the myth of female make-work projects, concluding that you can't raise the money if you're a woman who has been put out to pasture. A group of male journalists got up to leave and Hunter waved good-bye with an arched brow.

"It feels just like last night," said Brenneman, referring to the bomb threat that cleared out the Palais the night before. :