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This week: Lazy Bone, Rock en Stock, panic attacks, pucker holes!
Plus: Nice guys finish last!!
"edited" by AL SOUTH M Hey, this is Rico calling to respond to that guy who ranted about Lee-Lee from Lipstick last week. First of all, one glam band and one glam party doesn't make it a SCENE. What makes it a scene is people who feel they have to tag everything. Instead of complaining about what we are doing, you should get off your ass and do something of your own. [BLEEP!] M If you call One-976 a glam band it's because you don't know what glam is or you've never heard One-976. One-976 is a punk rock, super great band. It feels good to have a band like this in Montreal. [BLEEP!] M Regarding the lack of funk in Montreal's music scene, well, welcome to Quebec. Not only is it completely synthesized, but it's real WHITE. [BLEEP!] M Yeah, I'm calling in response to this guy who says he ain't never seen a good funk band in Montreal. Yo, you gotta get off the whack and get on some dope shit, bro. Stop going and paying for cover bands, man. I'm talking 'bout Rhythm Mercenaries and the KOP Crew. Yo, these guys are dope. Nothing but love. Peace. [BLEEP!] M What's the difference between an accordion and an onion? Nobody cries when you chop up an accordion. caca.[BLEEP!] M This is for all the a-holes in Montreal who didn't support Rock en Stock after their major bust last year. Rock en Stock, an institution, had to close its doors officially last week. And people are still coming by because they are unaware it closed. So Montreal has lost an institution of 20 years. And nobody did nothing. Nobody wrote nothing about it. Nothing! So it shows you how bad the music scene in Montreal has become. [BLEEP!] F This is to all those people who keep leaving all those death questions in the Rant Line. Can you please stop it. It's really giving me PANIC ATTACKS. [BLEEP!] F Yeah, I'm calling for the girl who left a message about watching guys jerking off. Umm, I want to see you, I want to meet you, I want to go to your house and watch you watch these guys jerk off. I wish I had someone to watch. [BLEEP!] M Yeah, this is about the girl who wrote in saying she liked to watch guys jerk off. I think you're right, it's normal for girls to like watching guys jerk off. Just like it's normal for guys to like watching girls masturbate. I like masturbating IN PUBLIC 'cuz I really like to be watched, and most of the time the girls really get off on it. I think we should hook up sometime and I would give you a good show. [BLEEP!] M Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance. To all the guys in the city, it's time to discover what that sweet little PUCKER HOLE nestled between your cheeks can do. I'm the type who likes to nail, but recently one of my well-hung buddies nailed me--and I mean, real hard. And fellas, let me tell you, when I blew my wad it was phenomenal. The best damn sex I ever had. No fooling. I really figured out why chicks like getting it man, cock rules! Men, it's time for us to start getting some too. Don't pass up on the explosive, spine-tingling sex that lies just behind the back door. Peace, love and plenty of butt-blasting! [BLEEP!] M Yeah, this rant is for my roommate, Bone. He never cleans, never does nothing. I'm just really pissed off and he's not here and I really want to tell him so I'm calling the Rant Line. So if anybody who knows him sees this, then you tell him about this message from me, his roommate. [BLEEP!] F I was just wondering, I've asked several people and no one can give me a straight definition of a SCRUB. Can you fill me in, buddy? Somebody? Please! [BLEEP!] M Yeah, this is for that girl who was saying that a lot of men are just looking for big boobs, a booty and a ride. Yeah, I know it's not right for a man to disrespect a woman like that, but I also have to say that, unlike women, it shows that at least men know what they want. I see that a lot of girls like to dress up like sluts, but they get offended when guys look at them. What's up with that? And another thing is that a lot of these women will say that NICE GUYS don't approach them. I'm sure they were approached by nice guys, but these women just brush them off with that shit attitude of theirs. (getting angrier) And yet they run off with some SLICK-TALKING, third-grade education, roughneck wannabe who screws them over, leaves them with a batch of kids, and the girl has got to go on welfare. (louder) And then these same women, they've got the nerve to say that all men are PIGS. All men are DOGS. Well, you dug your grave, (shouting) now you lie in it! PIGEON!! [BLEEP!]
Next week: Open forum |