Polyamide shark attack by KRISTA Sorry kittens, no time for foreplay. As usual there are a bazillion items meriting mention in this very tight little space, so let's just get right down to the nitty gritty. Friday, May 12, San Francisco's Guidance/ Tweakin' recording artist DJ Iz (aka Joshua, Circulation) returns to Montreal for Body Music at Jai Bar with DJ Uzi. If you're into that sexy "Chi-town meets the Pacific" sound then make sure you are in attendance. On Saturday, May 13, that lovely little café/ watering hole called Laika is celebrating its first birthday. The all-night event will take place at Lufthaus, 6250 Hutchison, #200. The Laika DJs will be on hand to set the mood, and they're expecting some very special guests. This Sunday, May 14, Hornswitch presents the Perlon Records tour at Jingxi. What's a perlon, you ask? Well, resourceful as I am, I uncovered that a perlon is: A) a shark of the Mediterranean, or B) a textile fiber obtained through polycondensation (polyamide). Therefore one can deduce from these findings that Perlon Recordings come on a dangerous, water-resilient plastic. Musically speaking, Perlon is all about minimal, fun and bleepy techy-house, or housey-techno--whichever you prefer. Perlon superstars Markus Nikolai (creator of the delicious "Bushes" track) and Dimbiman play live along with DJ Sammy Dee. Tickets are available at DNA Records for $10 in advance, $12 at the door. Locals on the night are DJs Pfreud and Hornswitch. Do not miss. Local label Turbo Recordings are set to release their eighth CD, volume four in the Montreal Mix Sessions series, and DJ Laflèche's second mix for the label. You can join Laflèche, the Turbo crew, and all the beautiful people at Ristorante Buona Notte on Wednesday, May 17, for the official launch party. Angel Moraes is set to release his first mix CD for local label Bombay, aptly entitled In Stereo. The launch party takes place at Stereo on Sunday, May 21, with Angel and NYC's Benji Candelario. You should also procure a copy of Angel's latest album, Back to Stereo, out now on his Hot'N'Spycy imprint. Summer makes its unofficial annual debut on Victoria Day/Fete de Dollard weekend (akaSwirl/Wild & Wet weekend). This year's Wild & Wet extravaganza kicks off at China's Jeudis Gais at 9 p.m. on Thursday, May 18. If you're feeling hot and frisky you can check out Wild on Ice, the first gay and lesbian hockey tournament, taking place at the Camillien Houde arena on Friday, May 19. The Wild & Wet main event takes place at the Medley on Saturday, May 20, with DJs Gilles Jr. and Peter Rauhofer, followed by Hot & Dry at Metropolis on Sunday, May 21, with DJ Escape from NYC along with Gilles Massicotte. For ticket prices and info, call Admission at 514-790-1245. :