I dreamed of killing myself

>> While watching Kim Basinger in I Dreamed of Africa

by JONATHAN GOLDSTEIN

In her first film since her Academy Award-winning turn in L.A. Confidential, Kim Basinger plays Kuki, a woman who heads to Kenya. Her boyfriend decides to open an African ranch, so she and her pasty seven-year-old son follow him there to play Swiss Family Robinson.

Upon their arrival, bongos filter into the film's soundtrack, and Basinger, riding in a jeep and looking like African Safari Barbie, shoots photos of giraffes and zebras. She raises her arms in rapture and cries, "Africa!"--but might just as well be yelling, "Look at me!"

Race relations, poverty--in fact, all social issues are forgone in the interest of providing us with scene after scene of Basinger in neat hats and khaki walking shorts. After all, this Africa is only a dream--an exoticized, symbolic place where one goes to wax philosophically upon the nature of life and love.

Beyond the rather shallow philosophizing, there's no plot, just a series of opportunities for Basinger to pose. None of the scenes go anywhere; one moment we see her building a dam for the natives, with nary a mention of it again for the rest of the film.

Basinger appears like she's just put an ice cappuccino down in her air-conditioned trailer and walked outside to have the make-up people dab her forehead with African soil. She wears her hair in a few different styles, develops a deeper tan and says things like "We've arrived" as she looks out over the horizon. She has three trump cards: crying in outrage, smiling stoically and squinting her eyes to denote the sense that she has deep inner passions.

In Casualties of War, Brian De Palma was faced with a dilemma: given the limited range of Michael J. Fox's acting abilities, how would he show the audience that Fox has changed as a result of his war experience? Answer: have him start smoking cigarettes. In Africa, we don't even get that much; all we get is Basinger telling us how she's changed in overly-expository voice-overs. If you want to take Kuki's word for it, Africa's the heart of life. Unfortunately, all we get out of it is one blonde, heart-attacked ventricle.

I Dreamed of Africa opens Friday, May 5