Stone Age bomb

>> In The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas, they suck, again

by MATTHEW HAYS

So there is a special place in Hell for film critics. I know, because I was there earlier this week, attending a promotional premiere of the prequel The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas.

This Viva Rock Vegas prequel is an attempt to pick up the ball after the last Flintstones movie, which somehow managed to miss the golden opportunity of bringing the old show to life while gently skewering its idiosyncrasies at the same time.

This one doesn't manage to revive things. Worse, actually getting to the opening credits of the film was difficult enough. As the crowd took its seats, those two intellectual giants, our local TV personalities the "Reviewers at Large," oversaw a gift giveaway for chosen kids in the audience. These contests are miserable at the best of times, but this one was particularly poorly handled and drawn out for far too long. Meanwhile, a couple of Neanderthal adults behind me were bickering over a seating arrangement. As these two, who had never met before, raised their voices at each other, I couldn't help but feel greatly saddened for their children, who had to overhear their petty squabble.

Needless to say, all this put me in the mood for more than an hour and a half of Flintstones fun. There were the expected sight gags, the imitations of the original foursome (Stephen Baldwin comes across the best, doing an exceptional Barney Rubble) and even some prehistory fans will die to know. This film takes us back to the beginning, when Barney and Fred first met Wilma and Betty. Did you know that on their first double date, Barney was actually coupled with Wilma, while Fred was paired with Betty? This stands as the film's primary point of interest, a bold move on the filmmakers' part, one that will undoubtedly perturb Flintstone purists and set off a massive debate on the controversies surrounding adaptation. Look for commentaries on this issue in upcoming editions of Harper's and The New Yorker.

The plot carefully mirrors one of the old episodes--a trip to Vegas matched by an evil threatening to thwart Fred's marital plans for him and Wilma. The film has flashes of cleverness which elevate it, briefly, above the mediocre. The best shtick comes with Joan Collins, decked out in prehistoric Dynasty outfits, as Wilma's overbearing mother.

Kiddie films, as I've stated many times before, shouldn't just appeal to kiddies, but to the inner kiddie in those of all ages. When Viva Rock Vegas isn't failing to amuse, it feels simply like one gigantic product tie-in. Still, many of the young kids at the premiere screening I attended did seem to be enjoying it (I'm not counting the ones who were crying loudly). The bottom line: adults may want to pass, but nondiscriminating children may enjoy.

The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas opens Friday, April 28