Super sub

>> U-571 is good, dumb fun

by MATTHEW HAYS

It was about time for another submarine movie. And here it is: U-571, boasting an impressive cast, including Harvey Keitel, Matthew McConaughey, Bill Paxton and Jon Bon Jovi. There are all those elements which add up to make sub movies so much fun: explosions galore, excessive claustrophobia and men in tight, wet outfits--essentially the equivalent of those Budweiser wet T-shirt contests heterosexual men seem to enjoy so very much.

The setting is 1942. Hitler's U-boats are effectively knocking out all sorts of the Allied forces' vessels, making transport by sea very difficult indeed. Enter our brave young naval troupe, who have orders to board a German submarine and nab the delicate information which will allow the Allied forces to break the Germans' code.

The cast are all effective in their roles, though they really are quite beside the point. Basically, they're expected to emote one thing: anxiety and fear as the sub they're on becomes the prey of a German destroyer. The sub goes down too far and the men get anxious when water starts to seep in because of the growing pressure. Bombs explode around them, making the men even more anxious. Fires break out after various attacks--yet more anxiety!

There are some conflicts, as soldiers openly question McConaughey's ability to lead the pack. But there's never any real question surrounding golden boy McConaughey's ability, nor his motivations. McConaughey's persona remains a sweet and reliable one--we don't doubt he'll pull the troops through for a second. Beyond McConaughey's casting and despite this being a war movie, its outcome can't really be that dour anyway because Dino Di Laurentiis's name is on it.

The real stars of this movie are the submarine and the explosions. The latter is made up of a cast of thousands--those prone to ear aches may want to opt out of attending.

While it won't inspire any brilliant, lengthy intellectual discussion, U-571 delivers the goods as a nail-biting, white-knuckle suspense-action movie. The filmmakers also muster some laughs. They manage, apparently with straight faces intact, to suggest at film's end that the movie is dedicated to those brave soldiers who gave their lives to help win WWII. Nice try, fellas. Really, this thing should have been dedicated to the producers' real heroes: explosive experts and those willing to shell out ten bucks for a quick fix of action. :

U-571 opens Friday, April 21