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This week: Goldylocks, gringo guys, old school feminism!
Plus: Jake Brown blows a gasket!!
"edited" by AL SOUTH M Hey, hey, hey, what's up? I'm talking about the Montreal music hip hop scene. I just want to give props on out to 514 and Goldylocks for their upcoming hip hop events, keeping it real in MTL. Peace and ROCK ON. [BLEEP!] F Hey, Cargo pants are out and so are Goldy's parties. And I bet to all of you idiots who are thinking of even going to his parties, half of his DJs or breakers won't even show up. Thanks. [BLEEP!] M Eminem is DEAD. Trust me, he is dead. He died of AIDS and he's not coming to Montreal. This is an official broadcast, uh, press release. Trust me, Eminem is dead. [BLEEP!] M Yeah, this is for the girl who was ranting about No Holds Barred. I don't know how old you are, girl, but I've been to the Rock Quest a few times and seen that band. They're a shitty cover band. The singer looks like a poster child for Weight Watchers and the drummer looks like a DORK. [BLEEP!]
M
Hi, this is Stef the lead vocalist of Big Blue Cooler. I was just calling in response to the two young ladies who phoned in about No Holds Barred and said they were wearing LEATHER PANTS and looked real hot. Well, I'm sure they're a great band and the guy looks great, but if you want to have a really good time and see an intense show, come on down to Baloo's and I promise I'll get some leather pants. [BLEEP!]
M Yeah, my rant is I'm sick of waiting for the new Guns N' Roses album. I know the title, I know a couple of song titles. I just want to know when the album's coming out. [BLEEP!] F This rant is directed at Kittie. We're sick of all these crap teenage pop sensations saying they aren't FEMINISTS. If it weren't for feminists you wouldn't have achieved any kind of status--if you call being a crap teenage pop sensation a status. Because of you and all the other non-feminists in your line of work, you're going to be out of a job by the time you're 20. The mainstream that you loathe so VACANTLY but are already a part of doesn't favour the opinion of older stronger women. Our suggestion is that if you're going to deny being feminists, figure out what they are. Go to school. [BLEEP!] F I'm from South America and I've been living here in North America for the past three years and a half and I have a question. What the fuck is up with you people? I think all of you guys are taking feminism a bit too seriously. I mean, why can't you come up to a girl? When my girlfriends come here, they complain about the same shit. Men here are all really handsome, but what the hell is wrong with them? Are they all gay or something? So this is a message for all you GRINGO GUYS out there--act like real men. Stop being afraid of women, for God's sake. Holy shit, I really miss black guys who were more than willing to come on to a real woman. [BLEEP!] F Yeah, I would just like to say that I'm fed up of all these guys going around calling girls who happen to look really nice PIGEONS. I happen to like dressing up for myself, just because I like to look nice. I'm not going around trying to impress people! Just because some broke-ass band like TLC made some song "No Scrubs," guys think they have the right now to go around and call every single girl a pigeon and it really pisses me off. [BLEEP!] M This is a message for Al South and Roger Argent. This is Jake Brown, remember me? This rant that you published--"I'm looking for women who are highly fuckable and dumber than dirt,"--are you out of your fucking minds?! (screaming passionately) You fucking assholes! Fucking cocksuckers! You print that? What for? What possible, possible justification could you have for printing that TODAY? You fucking assholes, cocksuckers! Fuck you! [BLEEP!] F What is up with stupid annoying guys in bars GRABBING you every time they want to pass by? It's, like, really annoying. [BLEEP!] F Everything is an illusion. [BLEEP!] F Yeah, I was just calling to say that April 16 is the big march on Washington, D.C., to protest the IMF and the World Bank. I think that everybody in the whole world should go to tell them they have no fucking idea what's going on and maybe they should look at themselves and stop being so horrible to the rest of the world. Good-bye. [BLEEP!] M Hello Rant Line. I am a fresh-air enthusiast. It's now a quarter to eleven on Friday night and my rant goes out to the people of Montreal. Besides the time when people are ducking in and out of metros, the only time they get fresh air is when they go to have a cigarette. I think that's kind of retarded. Thank you. [BLEEP!]
Next week: Open forum |