April foolishness by KRISTA Montreal what? Who, where? Sorry, having trouble zeroing in. I think it's understandable, though, considering that I'm in a much warmer, happier place called Miami, taking in the sights and sounds of this year's Winter Music Conference. But I'll tell you more about my exploits later, when things aren't so cloudy in my mind. All I can focus on right now is my tan line. But back to Montreal. Thankfully, spring seems to have sprung earlier than usual this year and the annual hormonal change we all go through during the solstice has begun. The minute the temperature rises above zero girls are out strutting up and down St-Laurent in miniskirts and open-toed shoes, reducing boys to primal, Neanderthal beings [Actually, it's those bareback tank tops. Lord have mercy. -Music Ed.]. It's all very amusing, as is what's going on this weekend. In case you haven't looked at a calendar lately, this Saturday is April Fool's Day and typically, promoters around town are using that as an excuse to throw a party (but who really needs an excuse...). It would seem, however, that the two main events this weekend are waging a little battle over who gets which DJ, which also strikes me as being rather typical. First off, this Saturday is a very mysterious and poorly promoted party called Foolin'. I heard a rumour that the people behind said event are some of the same people who are involved with the equally mysterious Rex Club (formerly the Rialto theatre). At any rate, the lineup for the night is supposed to be San Francisco's love chidren Dubtribe, U.K. super-DJ Seb Fontaine and L.A.-based Shaboom recording artist Doc Martin. However, Sona are having a little party on the same night, which they've aptly named No Joke, We're Not Foolin' (genius, really) and according to Sona's HardCore Crew, Doc Martin is booked and fully confirmed to play at their event along with Chicago's Terry Mullen. I actually ran into Doc poolside here in Miami and asked him what the deal was, but he declined to release any information. Or rather, he didn't seem to really know what I was talking about. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens on Saturday. Unfortunately, I know little about the Foolin' party other than the DJ lineup, but Sona's No Joke starts at 11 p.m. and the tax is $25. More on the other white meat. Boy-about-town Alex Robbins (aka the hardest working guy in showbiz) has managed to hook up another Pork Records soirée. This Sunday, April 2, Pork Recordings artist Baby Mammoth, along with locals Mr. Robbins, Nic B and Phil Larochelle, will be serving up healthy, tender morsels of downtempo and housey grooves at Jingxi. $12 at the door. And just one last little note about last weekend's Connected party--all that commotion for what? Montreal forgot to upload. Connected we were not.