Thing: The boot

>> Nothing says "Busted!" like the cast-iron hubcap from hell

by PHILIP PREVILLE

You wake up one morning, saunter out to your car and discover that the bailiff fairy has paid you a visit overnight. You are now one of the 8,000-plus Montrealers who gets the Denver boot every year. How did it happen?

Before: Suppose one day you get a $42 parking ticket and then never read your mail. After 30 days, the city sends you an "administrative reminder" (though according to city bylaws, they don't have to). Thirty days after that, they send you a "notice of judgment": you've been found guilty in absentia, and you now owe them $102 ($42, plus $43 in court costs and $17 (!) just to send you the notice).

Another 30 days after that, you receive a "notice of a writ of seizure" which costs you another $28, for a total of $130. Technically they could seize your car right away, but instead they sit on it for another 26 days. If you still haven't paid, they hand the writ to a city bailiff.

The city bailiff then spends 75 days ringing your doorbell and otherwise trying to get your attention. At the end of those 75 days, and more than six months after you first got that parking ticket, they hand the writ to a private bailiff firm, whose professionally certified henchmen go looking for your car.

After: The boot itself costs you another $127 for a total of $257; you have one day to pay up. Your best bet: go work out a payment plan with the city, because that will suspend all other outstanding writs against you. Or you can let the bailiff tow your car (another $57, for a total of $314) and auction it off. If they sell it for more than $314, you keep the difference. If they sell it for less, they'll be back to seize your TV and your stereo.

Final factoid: What if you show up just as the bailiff is getting ready to boot your car? Be forewarned: you don't have the right to defend your property; technically, your car's already been seized. Meanwhile, the very act of installing the boot will cost you an extra $127, so he has a vested interest in getting the job done. But he's a member of a regulated profession and could lose his job if he's an asshole about it. If you have the cash, he has to accept it. If you need to make a trip to the bank machine, you have to talk him into waiting for you. :