If you have a hankering for cheezy cheapo horror movies that involve mass transit, beware the titles Death Ship and Terror Train. Amazingly, these films were both spawned from the same Canadian producers (and, no doubt, came as a result of the same tax shelter for Canuck content).

Death Ship (1980) features George Kennedy, Kate Reid and Saul Rubinek, all fighting a mysterious deadly force on board the luxury cruise liner they're travelling on. The deadly force started knocking people off after the liner smashed into another vessel, apparently haunted by nasty ghosts. Yes, it's every bit as bad as its description sounds. There are no gasps of horror here, only yawns.

Terror Train (also 1980), directed by then-neophyte director Roger Spottiswoode, has Jamie Lee Curtis continuing her reign as Scream Queen. She's part of a graduating class celebrating finishing school on board a train. No surprises here; soon enough, everyone's getting sliced and diced. I recommend against this one too--but if you've really got the blood lust and feel you must check it out, be sure to look for Politically Incorrect's Bill Maher, who plays one of the frat boys. Notably, both films seem to suffer from mysterious and horrendous dubbing of all the voices.

--Matthew Hays