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This week: Clown Boy, Mike Biscott, good wax jobs, dead cats!
Plus: Free Mumia now!!
"edited" by AL SOUTH M Hey, this is Jan from Foufs and I'm calling in reply to that person who claimed that there was a NO SKINS policy at the Foufs. So this is for the idiot--we do welcome skinheads as long as they don't have RACIST prejudices. I suspect that this idiot is too inbred to even understand this, so I will not waste our time trying to explain it to him. Thank you very much. [BLEEP!] M Hi, I'm (someone claiming to be) ex-staff from Foufounes and I don't want to use my name as I'm sure to be ostracized and the next person to be barred. Here's what's happening: punks and skinheads are no longer welcome at Foufounes--even though they virtually founded the bar. These types of people have been found to cause too much trouble and don't bring in enough MONEY. The people who listen to swing, trance and techno are the kind of people who bring in money. Therefore, the UNDESIRABLES are no longer welcome. So that's why we have to put up with this trance-dance-techno routine every fucking weekend. It's not fair but it's the sad truth. Peace. [BLEEP!] F This is to the guy who was ranting about the drum & bass scene being sucky. Check out No Holds Barred. Not only is the drummer a hottie who had me and my friends CREAMING our panties but he's also got some awesome sounds. Bye. [BLEEP!] M Hello Rant Line, I'd just like to talk about those MusiquePlus stuck-up workers who pay no attention to the crowd waiting outside in the cold to see Smashing Pumpkins. The true fans who were really there to see the band, not the people with the connections. [BLEEP!] M Good morning, it's Mike Biscott and I just want everyone to know that the local music scene really sucks. In fact, I'm the GODFATHER of alternative music here in Montreal and it really sucks. In fact, this weekend I'm meeting with the Iceman Bob Segarini at his house in Richmond Hill, Toronto, to discuss the old days. Because now I'm studying religion and that's all that matters to me. I want to become a priest or a theologian or something like that. That's all I'm doing. Music sucks. [BLEEP!] M This message is for Automatic. The Insane Clown Posse came to Montreal about four or five years ago, at Backstreet. If you were really a fan you would know that. Check your facts. [BLEEP!] M Hey, CLOWN BOY, if you were really down with ICP, you'd know that they opened up for Das FX and Onyx at the now-defunct Backstreet on December 28, 1995. They sucked so bad and they were so obviously devoid of skills that we had to boo them off the stage. They didn't like that too much and they told us all to fuck off. They still suck so much to this day that I had to leave this rant. Ignorance is bliss, eh, clown boy? [BLEEP!] FAXRANT What's with all these people calling about their cats. I mean, cats are the most useless animals on God's green earth. Just like squirrels, cats SUCK. And people actually stuff their asses with food? Human beings are actually starving in this world and some cats are eating better than they are. C'mon! A 31-pound cat? Some Ethiopians aren't even 31 pounds. Stop the cat madness! [BLEEP!] F I live on Coloniale close to Prince Arthur and I want to tell the person who drove right into my cat last Wednesday morning that he is dead. He is DEAD! He was a good friend and a member of my family and you killed him. I took him to the vet and he died in my arms while bleeding internally. They charged me $30 to dispose of his body, so you are not only a murderer but you owe me $30. Thank you. (Crying into phone) Thanks a lot. [BLEEP!] M Hey, I don't know if anyone has noticed but pretty well everywhere downtown there is this graffiti that says FREE MUMIA. Free Mumia here and free Mumia there. The only thing is that it doesn't tell you is where you can pick one up. I want my free Mumia. Where is my free Mumia? Is this some kind of a fraud? I want my Mumia! [BLEEP!] F Yeah, I'm just calling for a bunch of guys that I work with. They're complaining that they don't know where to get a good WAX JOB. So if anybody can please tell me where a man can get waxed, professionally and properly, rant me back. [BLEEP!] M Hey. My rant is when you go to a bar and meet a girl and you think everything is going great and then when the end of the night comes, you ask for her phone number and she gives it to you. You call her the next day and find out the fucking number is wrong and you get the unemployment center. That's my fucking rant. [BLEEP!]
Next week: Open forum |