A very Celtic bestiary

Making heads or tails of this year's St. Paddy's Day fun

By RUPERT BOTTENBERG

This much can be said about the annual St. Patrick's Day festivities in Montreal: it's a zoo. With that in mind, we give you our guide to the florid fauna now coming out of hibernation, thirsty for stout and hungry for a reel good time.

On the subject of reels (the fishing rod kind, that is), we start our zoological zaniness at the aquarium, with Montreal's own Tuena. Hatched a mere year ago at this time, the band now boasts a brand new CD, entitled Montreal Urban Celtic, which makes its debut splash at Hurley's Medieval Pub on Saturday, March 18, 3 p.m.

Largely instrumental, Tuena showcases some of the brightest lights in Montreal's Celtic scene, including the brothers Gossage, familiar to fans of Orealis (who also play Hurley's this weekend). Each member brings a little outside baggage (blues, jazz, world beat and secular classical) to thicken the stew. "There's more than Celtic grooves--like the closing track, with its hip hop rhythm--but that's the way that a lot of Celtic music is done now," says flautist Dave Gossage. "It's still Celtic in that it's all reels and jigs, but you bring what you have of your own experience to it."

One prominent surprise is a strong east-Mediterranean element. "Macedonian music is very similar to Celtic," notes Gossage, "except for some of the scales and time signatures. It's still fiddles and whistles and guitars."

The mood on the disc varies, too. The poignant "After Dublane," for ins-

tance, is a memorial for the 16 children and one teacher murdered in March, '96 by a Scottish gunman. "I hadn't thought about it when I was writing the song, but now it's like, 'Christ, that's everyday in the newspaper.' That was so sad back when it happened, but now it's happening every week in the States, which makes the song so much more important."

Pirates of penance

Things lighten up with a number called "Annoying Priest." "That came from playing a lot of weddings," says Gossage, laughing out loud. "Those annoying priests, being really picky about everything. But then, I've met so many self-righteous priests, I can't even begin to count them. I've had a lot of discussions with priests about their various paths to heaven, justifying everything they do around the world."

That's a timely piece, too, given Pope JP2's recent general-purpose "Oops." Gossage isn't biting. "It's just a big whitewash, getting them off the hook. They're going to continue to do stuff, and maybe give us another apology in a hundred years. It's sort of a move forward, but in the modern world of the business of the church--that's business with a capital B--they can't avoid it. I don't think it's quite as morally motivated as it appears. It's good P.R. for a big real estate company."

Once the Paddy-madness subsides, Tuena intend to shop the disc around to labels and begin the quest for gigs. "Thing is, we're not booking the band in pubs. We're only booking concert stages, where people are listening. That was the whole idea. Don't get me wrong, we've had nice audiences at pubs, but they're there for the drink, not the music."

The birds and the bears

Next stop: the aviary. The Toucan room of McKibbin's Irish Pub, on the third floor, plays host to assorted bird-brained fun as DJ Bergeron hits the decks on Friday, March 18. Although not a native Irish beast, the toucan finds the greenery of the holiday very much to its liking. As for finding a good stiff drink--"follow your nose, it always knows!" What?! Whatever. Also on tap at McKibbin's are Sona, gigging on Guinness Night (Thursday, March 16) between draws for cool swag. On St. Paddy's proper (March 17) catch Nobody You Know (get to know them!) and the Paddingtons.

Which brings us to the bear cave. The Paddingtons ply the bear essentials of Celtic music at O'Donnell's Pub as well, on March 18. Also at O'Donnell's, on the 17th, is the CJAD breakfast, with Jim and Gary. Jim and Gary! If you can't get your hands on tickets, or find the idea of dragging your ass out of bed at 5 a.m. on a Friday morally repellent, just set your radio alarm to CJAD and enjoy the fun flat on your back. Once again--Jim and Gary!

Our next natural selection hits a bit closer to home, in the form of man's best friend. Since nobody's thought to call their band the Irish Setters, canine companionship can be found with Salty Dog, who're bound to be dog-tired come Monday morning. They're playing tonight, Thursday, March 16--and again on Saturday, March 18--at O'Donnell's. They're also playing Hurley's all weekend--check listings for times.

Also lined up for Hurley's this weekend are the Searson Family (a sort of "McTrapps," based in Ottawa) and Nova Scotia's Kilt. The Bernadette Shortt Irish Dancers will be on hand for Global TV's Friday morning breakfast, and for the pre-Parade breakfast with the Blackwatch Bagpipers.

One last bit of doggerel: Remember that touching Disney classic Big Red? Catch Dave Gossage and fellow Tuena-type Jonathan Moorman in trio format with longtime local pub trooper Liam Callaghan (to whom the Tuena tune "Og Rua"--Gaelic for Big Red--is dedicated) at the Old Dublin, most all of the weekend.

Barnyard buddies

From the doghouse to the barnyard we go, lookin' to do some horsin' around. Black Nag are chomping at the bit, ready to gallop onstage at Hurley's on Thursday, Friday and Sunday. Don't make us nag you about checking it out. Likewise on the equine tip, though well to the west geographically, is C&W saloon Spurs, who host the Clahanes Friday through Sunday. Also packin' horse sense is Ed Zeweda, whose band grace the stage at McLean's Pub on Peel, March 17 and 19 (Mr. Ed? Get it? The horse thing? Okay, we're pushing it).

Since we're lurking around the farm here, let's check up on a beast familiar to Catholics everywhere: the lamb. On Friday, Le Sergent Recruteur (way up there on St-Laurent) will be serving up homemade Irish stew to go with the live tunes on tap. The stew, we understand, is made with stout and lamb. At press time we are unaware of any other ingredients in the stew--and unsure whether any other are necessary.

Finally, and obviously, the high point of the weekend is the St. Patrick's parade itself. Things get rolling at noon, at the corner of Ste-Catherine and Atwater, and wrap up at St-Urbain. Party animals of every stripe will be loose in the streets for Wild Kingdom mayhem of biblical proportions, so get on down there--but watch out for guys in khakis named Marlon. One tranquilizer dart and you miss the whole damn thing. :