Birthday score

>> Rosebowl Lanes throws a mean casse-croute bowl-o-rama

by SPANKY HOROWITZ

Last week was my little bro's birthday, and we were looking for a unique way to celebrate. We considered a luncheon at the Ritz or a banquet at Les Nuances--basically some elegant way to give him some respect on his birthday.

It was his girlfriend who came up with a venue that would properly reflect my brother's level of sophistication and satisfy his need for the perfect party. We were gonna have a kiddie bowling party!

We've all been to these things when we were kids. There's a private room just for you and your friends, mostly to protect you from the "rough" element that might hang out at bowling alleys, and also to protect the "rough" element from a bunch of screaming, giggling children.

We called up Rosebowl Lanes and reserved our room. There are four to choose from, all decorated in different and original themes: "Le Train," "La Promenade," "Le Soleil" and "Les Minous." Even though we all act like children, we were adults, so we reserved the "Minou" room, because my 28-year-old brother would most probably like a little "minou" more than a train, a walk or the sun.

My brother suspected our intentions, yet graciously pretended to be surprised. Then the food came. We all had a choice between a hamburger, two hot dogs or a grilled cheese. Each person also got a fries and a drink. I ordered the hamburger and the two hot-dogs, with full plans to taste somebody's grilled cheese.

My hot dogs arrived grilled, a pleasant surprise that I hadn't anticipated nor experienced in many years. It had a crunch unlike a steamed wiener and the fake red meat and nitrate flavours were somewhat disguised by the lack of water and the addition of seared-on butter. I'd say that for a regular industry-made wiener, this was a notch above the norm.

My cheeseburger was 100 per cent beef and cooked to perfection: medium-rare. Only a quality patty can actually be well-cooked and still be pink inside. The chef at the Rosebowl likes to grill, because even the bun was grilled, something you don't always get in your run-of-the-mill casse-croute. The burger was all-dressed, with fresh lettuce and big tomato slices. The fries were not very impressive, so Mr. Grill should work on his relationship with the deep-fryer.

The grilled cheese was gooey, as expected, but an ordinary grilled cheese at that. No honey-mustard dressing or chipotle-mayonnaise on this white-bread bowling-alley sandwich. The beverage selection was quite impressive: there was a full array of sodas as well as the perpetual-fountain tanks full of coloured juices. There is also a fully licensed bar so you can buy beers for the winner of the bowling tournament.

We all sang Happy Birthday and ate our cake. The cake was a custom Mickey Mouse-shaped deal that my mom acquired on the black market. At the Rosebowl you bring your own cake and you are explicitly warned not to bring any of your own food except the cake. We didn't want to mess with them so all we brought was some jellybeans in loot-bags.

By the way, I bowled a 72.

Rosebowl Lanes

Address: 6510 St-Jacques

Phone: 482-7200

Hours: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week

Best features: Romantic fluorescent lighting, low-budget food, "quirky" service and you can bowl!

Alcohol: Yes

Vegetarian friendly: Grilled cheese sandwiches!

Wheelchair access: Yes

Credit cards: Yes

Price: $9.95 gets each "child" 1 hour of bowling, a meal, a party hat and whistle. The birthday kid gets some balloons and a plastic trophy.

Rating: *** out of ****