For those of us not lucky enough to have a cable TV so close by as to join in on the trend, iCraveTV (http://www.icravetv.com/), a brand-new Web site launched last week, offers all the Canadian broadcast networks--and then some, all thanks to RealNetworks' RealPlayer software--for free!

Although dialup users might find the video quality limited, Netizens on DSL or Cable will become fast fans of the site, with clear, fluid video and high quality sound.

TV channels currently available include the big American networks, CBC, Global, PBS and TVO, as well as some channels not available here, including CityTV, NewVR and the WB--so catching the Dilbert animated show is now a rational possibility.

Online listings are also available, so if you're bored and sleepless at 3 a.m., you can decide between Married With Children and The Six Million Dollar Man.

Spin a dreidel wtih Kirk and Spock: Adam Sandler's new CD, Stan and Judy's Kid, includes the "Chanukah Song II," which lists more people who are Jewish, including Bill Shatner and Len Nimoy. Also, check out Sandler's new animated short, The Peeper (http://peeper.wbr.com/). It's crude, offensive and just in time for the holidays.

Roots.chanukah: For some last-minute Chanukah shopping for that special Jew on your list, check out Roots' Web site (http://www. roots.com/) and indulge their memories of Jewish summer camp. A vast selection of Roots clothing, leather goods and furniture is available, and it's quicker than a trip to the Cavendish Mall.

The court may have declared Microsoft a monopoly, but one site claims that MS founder Bill Gates is in fact the spawn of Satan. Bill Gates: The Antichrist (http://www.freeyellow.com/members4/privantu/bill666.htm) may be one man's swan dive off the deep end, but some of his arguments are convincing. Is the Windows logo really the mark of the beast?

The whole Microsoft fiasco came about from the inclusion of Internet Explorer as part of the Windows operating system. As it happens, many people actively dislike MSIE. Check out Internet Exploiter (http://www.jwp.bc.ca/saulm/ie4/) for your RDA of cruelty.

Of course, another option is to dispense with Internet Explorer and go back to the old school. Browzerz R Us (http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Network/7070/vintage.html) offers a selection of vintage browsers including Netscape 1.0 and Mosaic. Frames? Bah!

* Possibly the single greatest repository of human foolishness is the Darwin Awards (www.darwinawards.com/), an archive of awards that, in the spirit of evolutionist Charles Darwin, commemorate those "who suffered idiotic and fatal misadventures, thereby dousing our gene pool with chlorine." Here you'll read about the sad demise of a group of terrorists who failed to account for daylight savings time on their car bombs and detonated themselves en route.

* The Webcrawler Search Hall of Fame (www.sb.net/ksimpson/webcrawler.html/) documents some of the stupidest Webcrawler searches ever, annotated with explanations. Typical searches include "goth kennels" and "Does Fabio love me."

* Ladies and germs, I give you Fat Chicks in Party Hats (www.portalofevil.com/fatchicksinpartyhats/). "Are you stuck to my back honey?" "Yes. There is a pizza here."