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Goldylocks, Ghoulunatics, crackers, fag hags!
Plus: Bloodstone in Japan, Regis Philbin's teeth!!
"edited" by AL SOUTH M Yeah, this is a rant for the guy who was wondering why there ain't any more break dance competitions. First of all, Goldylocks lost more than two G's on Rock On 99. And don't call him LOCKS 'cuz he shaved his dreads 'cuz he can't pay his debt. Peace.[BLEEP!]
M This is a message for the guy who said he's going to get shot at Rainbow-ites. He's probably some CRACKER anyway and must rock on with the rest of the crackers in Montreal who like Korn and Limp Bizkit and think that's the hardcore. These Limp Bizkit, fucking white boy crackers, fucking morons. [BLEEP!]
M Hip hop culture? Give me a break. If you call that culture then my name is UNCLE SAULY and the chickens will be coming home to roost on December 3, 1999 at midnight. Get serious. Culture is in museums, hip hop comes from garbage. And Elton John sucks![BLEEP!]
M The Pet Shop Boys concert was fabulous, wasn't it? I just had a couple of things I wanted to say. First, to the really cute David Duchovny lookalike who was standing right next to me, I really hope that girl is your FAG HAG girlfriend 'cuz you're just too cute to waste on women, okay? I'm sorry, no offence to women in any way, but we deserve you. Actually, that's all I wanted to say. Bye. [BLEEP!]
F KONNICHIWA. I'm in Japan right now and I'm with my friend Yuriko. We used to have a band called Sapphire and then Bloodstone, but she had to leave because the fucking government asked for too much money. It's ridiculous. I am so fucking pissed off at the WORLD and its rules. There should be no borders and people should be able to live wherever they want. Those who are against that are a bunch of selfish bastards who want to keep everything for themselves. They should learn to share, share their countries. Don't be afraid to be overpopulated in Canada. After seeing the amount of people here, I say Canada is empty. It's a big fucking empty land and it's selfish to keep it for ourselves. I also want to say hi to my boyfriend, Brian, known as the best, the coolest and the cutest drummer currently playing with the Ghoulunatics. [BLEEP!]
F Hey, can anyone recommend a good book for me to read? [BLEEP!]
F Hey, you know what pisses me off? All of this bullshit propaganda about E being bad for you. It's total garbage, man. I take E about 5 times a week and it only makes me wanna groove and have fun. This shit the media keeps feeding us is just because they want to destroy our culture. Don't buy into it, people. E stands for ecstasy and ecstasy is GOD. So think about it. Ta, ta.[BLEEP!]
M Hey, I'm watching that Who Wants to Be a Millionaire show and I'm looking at Regis Philbin's TEETH and no human has teeth that white. The man is an alien. Beware.[BLEEP!]
M Yeah, this rant is about the chick who lost her SCARF. Get over it. We have what's called Value Village. For a dollar you can go get a new one. And if she's interested she can get in touch with me somehow and I'll give her a dollar to go get a new one so we don't have to read rants about her. [BLEEP!]
M Hi Rant Line. I'm looking for the asshole in Montreal who started this fucking COLD that's going around. I still have to work and I've got a fucking horrible cold and I work outside so fuck you.[BLEEP!]
F I just want to say that I love my mummy. She is always very good to me and she buys me Fudgesicles. I love you, mummy.[BLEEP!]
M Hi, I'd just like to rant about the lack of cool older women on St-Laurent. We were just out at the Bifteck and it's pretty chill and stuff like that but there were no good looking chicks at the BIFFER tonight. What I really need right now is a good older woman to kick my ass and whip some shit into me. I'm a 22-year-old funky guy and, like, I'm wondering where all these older chicks are. C'mon, kick my ass and tell me what to do. I need to be told what to do. I need an older woman to show me how it should be done. I'm up for it.[BLEEP!]
F I want to call in about the young girl who must be maximum age 24 who's a bus driver on the 24 route. I just want to say more power to you, girl. It's about time we see younger women who are entering the work force, especially a male-dominated one. More power to her. Thanks.[BLEEP!]
M Listen up all you cunt-slurping, tit-nibbling, leg-licking, arsehole-probing DYKE-O-PHILES. All you need to do is fuck for money with other horny honeys in lezzie porn. It's a win-win situation--you get off, we get off, everybody's happy.[BLEEP!]
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