Top 10 ways to stay hot

Turn winter into summer with these handy heat-inducing tips

by GENEVIEVE PAIEMENT

Screw winter. If we were meant to endure sub-zero temperatures we'd have thick shiny coats of fur like the seals and bears. Life becomes a constant quest to stay warm, an epic battle of survival against the elements and a quest to counter the harrowing effects that a brutal Canadian winter can have on the human soul. So, to help point you in the right direction (that of heat), here's a list (in no particular order) of 10 ways to stay warm and toasty when it's cold as hell out there...

1. Adopt the layered look. According to those outward-bound sports people at Sports Experts, layering the latest high-tech outdoor gear is the best way to conserve body heat while keeping sweat away from the skin when you've heated up. The following combination is used by people who are insane enough to go camping in the wintertime: Layer #1: Polyester, polypropylene or pro-wool (polypropylene-wool blend) undershirt ($30-70). Layer #2: Polar fleece ($70-90). Layer #3: Goretex shell ($470-575).

2. Hotshots! Remember those little magic packets that heat up your mitts and boots? Their ingredients are iron, water and "activated carbon and salt." Grabber Mycoal makes "warm packs" for all-over use and some specifically for hands and toes. At $1.99 to $2.99 they're worth stocking up on; available at sports stores and pharmacies.

3. Heat not working so good in your run-down flat? Get one of those little plug-in mini heater-fans. Have it next to you at all times. The 1,500-watt Super Heater II with thermostat ($34.95, available at your local Rona hardware store) works nicely.

4. Take a trip to Montreal's own slice of tropicalia. Spend all day among the palm trees, with a couple of parrots and some two-toed sloths in a 2,600 square-meter tropical rainforest at the Biodome. The relative humidity is kept at 70%, the temperature hovers around 26 degrees celsius and the artificial light recreates an average day of sun in Costa Rica, all year round. 4777 Pierre-de-Coubertin; $9,50 for adults, $7 for students and seniors, $4.75 for kids.

5. Slip into a hot tub, sauna or steam bath (a sauna with steam pumped into it). Fitness Club La Cite's steam bath features the occasional addition of nasal-clearing eucalyptus to aid in ridding you of your ever-present cold-season sniffles. $670 for a one-year membership, $12 for a one-day trial (available weekdays).

6. Go to a popular club or a packed concert. Sure, you may have to endure long lineups outside (don't forget those layers!) but once inside you can peel almost everything off, leave it at the coat check and luxuriate in heat, glorious heat, for a couple of hours. The stifling humidity, scores of sweaty punters and clouds of cigarette smoke as thick as snowbanks will be a welcome respite from the excess of freezing cold fresh air.

7. Head to the metro. Ever noticed how bloody hot it gets in metro stations during the winter? You end up stripping off coat/scarf/hat in a near heat-stroked frenzy during the minute wait for the next train. Worth the $2 admission if you ask me.

8. Weatherproof your windows and doors. There are many inexpensive ways to keep out those money- and heat-draining cold drafts. A storm window kit (Saran Wrap for windows), a container of Seal 'n' Peel removable sealant and a package of removable foam weather strips will set you back about 5 bones each. Available at all hardware stores.

9. Get outta town! The best time in winter to hunt for deals on flights to hot places is between mid-January and beginning of February: after the holiday/millennial rush and before spring break.

10. Frequent tanning salons. Premature aging, shmemature aging! Attention all translucent, pasty whities: quit avoiding those UV rays! Having skin like brown leather is like being a sexy, walking Gucci purse. So call up RX Soleil now and fry that epidermis till it sizzles like bacon. Choose between Regular, Super, Super Plus and Solar Pro beds. From $24.15 to $51.25 per 100 min. (tax incl.)

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