Angel >> Federal Justice Minister Anne McLellan, guardian angel of the nation's petsThis week McLellan introduced changes to the Criminal Code which will stiffen the penalties for pet abusers. The current animal-abuse provisions in the Code date back to 1892 and deal mostly with treatment of livestock. Now, instead of a maximum of six months, repeat offenders can be forced to serve up to five years in a federal pen. Even strays are protected from roaming abusers like the sicko who hacked up a bunch of cats in Mile-End two years ago. Aspiring young lawyers may wish to consider specializing in pet prosecutions.

Insect >> The police crackdown on swingers' clubs The men in blue busted Club Brigitte et Michel at Rosemont and Christophe-Colomb on Saturday, charging 69 people with being in a common bawdy house. They say it goes against community standards--but this is the third bust in two years, and if there's so many swingers' clubs in Montreal then lots of community members must obviously think it's fine. And it's consensual sex to boot. As Pierre Trudeau once said: "The state has no place in the bedrooms of the nation." Even if the bedroom is a matress-carpeted gymnasium.