Guys in disguise

>> Robert De Niro cozies up to a drag queen in Flawless

by MATTHEW HAYS

What to make of a film like Flawless? The title is actually the filmmakers' first mistake. Just think of all the nasty, bitchy things film critics can say while employing that open invitation of a title? ("Certainly not flawless," "Flawful," etc.) Indeed, Flawless is not flawless, but it's a fascinating glimpse into the way the studios view gays and drag queens.

Thank god--or goddess--there are no mistaken-for or faux gays, like the current crop in Happy, Texas, Three to Tango and American Beauty. Instead, director Joel Schumacher's latest film has Robert De Niro playing a hardened New York cop who, after suffering a stroke, finds his speech severely impaired. Stuck in his apartment, the homophobic De Niro spies on his singing drag queen neighbour, played with relish by Philip Seymour Hoffman. As We-are-the-World Pollyanna logic would have it, De Niro ends up relying on Hoffman for singing lessons to help regain his speech. Despite his hatred, De Niro--and the predictability of this plotline insures that I'm giving absolutely nothing away by revealing this--learns that "fucking faggots" are people too. Thank goodness for tired old plot contrivances!

Most of this is pretty dreadful. De Niro, of course, is wonderful to watch in anything, and here he can add another semi-helpless gimp to his CV, alongside Awakenings. And with his empowered drag queen, Hoffman may or may not be trying to make up for the helpless homo act he offered in Boogie Nights, a turn which incurred the wrath of gay critics, among them ueber-columnist Michael Musto. Ultimately, the two entities meet; Hoffman learns about his inner man, becoming a hero in the film's final, ludicrous crescendo. De Niro, meanwhile, learns about his inner fagala (no, he doesn't come out or anything, he just learns how to sing).

But what's most fascinating to witness is Schumacher's bizarre directorial style. The openly gay auteur behind such films as Batman Forever, Batman and Robin and Falling Down, isn't, well--how can I put this politely?--he's simply not the brightest shade of lipstick. When Schumacher goes for camp, it comes off as phony and too obvious. And when he attempts to offer real moments of danger or excitement, they come across as cheesy, kitschy camp. His films often leap between the two sensations. It's a wonder to behold, sort of like Showgirls, except this time the drag queens are really drag queens (but come to think of it, nothing could be that good).

I guess we could call it progress: not terribly great directors are being handed not terribly great scripts about saintly drag queens who save homophobes (played, in this instance, by America's greatest actor). Filled with characters and a plot about as dimensional as those found in Batman and Robin, for now, I suppose, Flawless is flawed, but will have to do. :

Flawless opens Wednesday, November 24