The court may have declared Microsoft a monopoly, but one site claims that MS founder Bill Gates is in fact the spawn of Satan. Bill Gates: The Antichrist (http://www.freeyellow.com/members4/privantu/bill666.htm) may be one man's swan dive off the deep end, but some of his arguments are convincing. Is the Windows logo really the mark of the beast?

The whole Microsoft fiasco came about from the inclusion of Internet Explorer as part of the Windows operating system. As it happens, many people actively dislike MSIE. Check out Internet Exploiter (http://www.jwp.bc.ca/saulm/ie4/) for your RDA of cruelty.

Of course, another option is to dispense with Internet Explorer and go back to the old school. Browzerz R Us (http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Network/7070/vintage.html) offers a selection of vintage browsers including Netscape 1.0 and Mosaic. Frames? Bah!

* Possibly the single greatest repository of human foolishness is the Darwin Awards (www.darwinawards.com/), an archive of awards that, in the spirit of evolutionist Charles Darwin, commemorate those "who suffered idiotic and fatal misadventures, thereby dousing our gene pool with chlorine." Here you'll read about the sad demise of a group of terrorists who failed to account for daylight savings time on their car bombs and detonated themselves en route.

* The Webcrawler Search Hall of Fame (www.sb.net/ksimpson/webcrawler.html/) documents some of the stupidest Webcrawler searches ever, annotated with explanations. Typical searches include "goth kennels" and "Does Fabio love me."

* Ladies and germs, I give you Fat Chicks in Party Hats (www.portalofevil.com/fatchicksinpartyhats/). "Are you stuck to my back honey?" "Yes. There is a pizza here."

Direct from the source: Why spend all your hard-earned cash at Urban Outfitters on a cost-inflated Sumo Fan, when you can get it from the source. Archie McPhee (http://www.archiemcphee.com/) has the goods and more. Where else can you get a Sarcastic 8 Ball?

Hip hop lingo: The Beastie Boys may tell you to bring back the old New York rap, but why not just create your own? For definitions of all the hip hop terms you'll ever encounter, check out the Rap Dictionary (http://www.rapdict.org/) and be down with the old skool steez, yo. You'll be the mack daddy and the daddy mack.

Marxist-Leninist cartoonist: If you ever thought Dilbert was a front for a communist plot to topple the American government, take a gander at Dilbert: Propaganda for New-Order Bolshevism (www.andrew.cmu.edu/~dmb/dilbert.html) and discover someone who agrees with you, you nut.

Start with the Noodle (www.thenoodle.com), where you'll find a Java version of the Kevin Bacon game, and a handy little utility called Newsblip which serves up the lastest headlines, as well as being a news search engine. Swing by Bitterwaitress.com for some angry waitress stories. The most fun are the celeb run-ins.

Interested in beefing up your Engrish skills? Visit www.lumine.net/engrish/index.html and learn about that sweet sweet Pocari Sweat.

Looking for some light web-reading? Maybe you want to stop by Feedmag.com, for some reviews, news and festures. The latest issue is the Art Issue: Part II. Enjoy.

Quality viewing:This is worth checking out, since I don't think the ad is actually airing in Canada. It's one of the original Dreamcast ads from Japan, and it's pretty slick. You'll find it at www.sega.com/console/index.shtml. Follow the link to the "Apocalypse Commercial."

Using "sophisticated next-generation technology," Google promises a better, smarter search engine. It's got a simple and clean interface, and if you're tired of your old search engines you might want to give this one a spin.

Fashionable insanity:From my Networthy™ Global Spy-Net comes this little site: fi.ugo.com, dedicated to comedy, parody, satire et al. The site includes the AssMaster--the anti-Ann Landers. Learn about the upcoming Gary Coleman Webathon, and check out the wicked feature on future fashions. The site will keep you clicking for at least a good 20 minutes, and you may even want to come back for more.

Or how about their take on the JFK Jr. death ("Satan calls another Kennedy to Hell")?

While at the site, you can visit some of Landover's various ministries, or pick up some prime Landover real estate right near the church. This site is so well done that it will make you a believer, too.

Keep-you-busy Department:Stop by www.theremediproject.com for some good old fashioned eye & ear candy. Nice to look at, pretty to play with.

The site also contains a pretty handy Webnews page, which includes a collection of headline links culled from a whack of different news sites (real and parody) around the Web.

If you're also looking for somewhere to set up Web-shop, Polyester.net offers 10megs of free Web space.

Pimp daddy Po:Good news! Telebubby Fun Land is back. Taken down a few weeks ago after a threatening letter from the BBC, creator Tom Fulp has decided to put the piece back up, citing Fair Use for parody. So go check it out at www.newgrounds.com/tubby/index.html.

Lobster fest:Live from Maine, it's Lobster Cam! Yup, you read correct. One more useless yet diversionary Web-cam has been set up, this time in a lobster trap. While not particularly exciting (the lobsters don't fight to the death), it's always fun to experience a lobster sighting: www.midcoast.com/lobcam/.