Ground Control to Major Tom

>> Blink 182's bassist says the truth is out there

by MIREILLE SILCOTT

Think Blink 182. What comes to mind? Kiddiecore pop-punk that makes Green Day seem downright erudite? Nurses in bondage gear? Sticky sheets hidden from mom? Sponsorship deals? Stupidity? Enema jokes? Idiocy? Yeah, yeah. But that's not to say that the Blinkies are full-on dumbos. In fact, vocalist/guitarist Tom Delonge says he's even researched one very serious subject for four years: aliens. Oh, yes. So call him the Art Bell of the Warp Tour. Celebrity can do that to you.

Mirror: You must be one of those everything-is-a-conspiracy people. So what's your pet conspiracy theory?

Tom Delonge: My favourite is aliens existing on our planet and our government knowing it but not telling anyone about it. I know it's true for a fact. I have done research for four years and if you really take the time to study the topic, you will find it is extremely, extremely, ahhh... cool.

M: Uh, okay. So what do you think aliens look like?

TD: They are--I dunno--I think the main alien that everyone talks about is a hybrid, it's a biologically engineered... um... they call them extra-terrestrial biological entities. They're engineered for space flight. Their bodies look like an insect's, and they're meant to travel vast distances and perform missions--they're meant to be like robots, but, like, not robots.

M: You think there are there males and females?

TD: A lot of people say there isn't any gender.

M: Do you harbour any alien sex fantasies?

TD: No, I don't.

M: Surprising.

TD: Well, yeah, maybe I do. I know of this one person who got abducted one time who said that aliens were very sexual.

M: What's with the whole anal probe thing then?

TD: Anal probes are serious! They're one of the many operations performed on people when they get abducted.

M: Why an anal probe?

TD: To figure out the diet. That, or it just feels really good.

M: Why do you think it's almost always--besides you, of course--toothless rednecks who see aliens?

TD: Well it's NOT. People always say that. But, I mean, you can talk to astronauts, presidents, military officials, scientists, rocket engineers, people who have headed marketing departments for AT&T and IBM and they will all say, "all this shit is for real."

M: AT&T?

TD: AT&T! They know aliens are where we got all our technology. The most awarded officials in the Pentagon say it too, but people still don't believe it. There is this guy that had 19 medal ribbons, a lieutenant-colonel, National Security agency, he was an advisor for Eisenhower, and he wrote a whole book about how all our technology changed after a [spaceship] crash in 1947.

M: Well, people can write books about all sorts. I guess you think aliens were here before us?

TD: Yeah, because our moon isn't even from this planet.

M: No kidding.

TD I mean, our moon isn't even on the right orbit, and it faces one direction--towards us--the whole time, so I think it's a monitoring system.

M: Tom, this is very far from porn-nurses and enemas...

TD: Yeah, but sometimes your interests should lie outside your reality, you know? :

Blink 182 play Jarry Park's indoor Bell Pavillion on Thursday, November 11. Lit and Fenix TX play too. $21.50; tickets: 790-1245