Start with the Noodle (www.thenoodle.com), where you'll find a Java version of the Kevin Bacon game, and a handy little utility called Newsblip which serves up the lastest headlines, as well as being a news search engine. Swing by Bitterwaitress.com for some angry waitress stories. The most fun are the celeb run-ins.

Interested in beefing up your Engrish skills? Visit www.lumine.net/engrish/index.html and learn about that sweet sweet Pocari Sweat.

Looking for some light web-reading? Maybe you want to stop by Feedmag.com, for some reviews, news and festures. The latest issue is the Art Issue: Part II. Enjoy.

Quality viewing:This is worth checking out, since I don't think the ad is actually airing in Canada. It's one of the original Dreamcast ads from Japan, and it's pretty slick. You'll find it at www.sega.com/console/index.shtml. Follow the link to the "Apocalypse Commercial."

Using "sophisticated next-generation technology," Google promises a better, smarter search engine. It's got a simple and clean interface, and if you're tired of your old search engines you might want to give this one a spin.

Fashionable insanity:From my Networthy™ Global Spy-Net comes this little site: fi.ugo.com, dedicated to comedy, parody, satire et al. The site includes the AssMaster--the anti-Ann Landers. Learn about the upcoming Gary Coleman Webathon, and check out the wicked feature on future fashions. The site will keep you clicking for at least a good 20 minutes, and you may even want to come back for more.

Or how about their take on the JFK Jr. death ("Satan calls another Kennedy to Hell")?

While at the site, you can visit some of Landover's various ministries, or pick up some prime Landover real estate right near the church. This site is so well done that it will make you a believer, too.

Keep-you-busy Department:Stop by www.theremediproject.com for some good old fashioned eye & ear candy. Nice to look at, pretty to play with.

The site also contains a pretty handy Webnews page, which includes a collection of headline links culled from a whack of different news sites (real and parody) around the Web.

If you're also looking for somewhere to set up Web-shop, Polyester.net offers 10megs of free Web space.

Pimp daddy Po:Good news! Telebubby Fun Land is back. Taken down a few weeks ago after a threatening letter from the BBC, creator Tom Fulp has decided to put the piece back up, citing Fair Use for parody. So go check it out at www.newgrounds.com/tubby/index.html.

Lobster fest:Live from Maine, it's Lobster Cam! Yup, you read correct. One more useless yet diversionary Web-cam has been set up, this time in a lobster trap. While not particularly exciting (the lobsters don't fight to the death), it's always fun to experience a lobster sighting: www.midcoast.com/lobcam/.

But wouldn't it be fun to be a fly on the confessional wall, listening to people's dirty little secrets? Welcome to the Confessor (www.theconfessor.com). There aren't a huge amount of confessions up yet, but some are worth reading, such as the Evil Twin (envy), Baaa (lust) and Mint Attack (wrath). While visiting, you can also leave your own confession.

Free hate: Here's some good reading for the masses--yankthechain.com, a weekly mess of hateful humour pieces. This weeks feature tells you how to join a Persecuted Minority, helping you make an informed decision. On the site you'll also find the Mark Hamill watch, among other features.

The customer is always wrong: Here's a nice little site with some good stories. I especially enjoyed "How I got fired," "Fools on the phone" and "Tales of revenge." If you actually have to deal with customers you may want to contribute some of your own stories. http://www.customerssuck.com/

Essentially, megaCar is a Mercedes-Benz S500 L packed with about $90,000 (U.S.) worth of computer equipment, giving you real-time videoconferencing, a fast Internet connection, a whack of multimedia equipment and a smooth ride.

Check it out at www.megacar.com. And the presentation is much cooler with a Flash-enabled browser.

The site also features Cat Dynamics, a site devoted to building a better, stronger cat after Fluffy's been involved in an accident. And there's Beep Me Jesus, which works like a Magic 8 ball, only better, 'cuz it's Jesus answering your questions.

While at Newgrounds, you may want to drop by the original Celebrity Assassin and kill some of your favourite pop icons. Unfortunately, you won't be able to see Teletubby Fun Land, which just got removed this week due to a threat by the BBC. I guess they didn't see the humour in Tinky Winky et al pimpin', whorin' and drinkin'.

What's green and red: Finally, the classic "frog in a blender" joke has made it to the Net, animated for the inner child in you. A 10-speed blender, in which floats a frog. You can slowly build up speed, watch as the frog spins round and round. Or, if you're in the mood for insta-gore™, you can just hit the 10 button to send the cute little froggy to amphibian heaven. (http://www.joecartoon.com/reddot/blender.html)

With over 4,500 drinks in the database, you won't be caught with your blender down as the Ambassador asks for a Wet Pussy.

Capital L of the week: Yes, yes, I know, there's plenty of crap on the Net. But once in a while, a certain crop of crap is worthy of distinction, or just pointing at and laughing. So point your browser to http://www.execpc.com/~mephisto/.

Battle of the bulge: Probably long overdue, the Hacker's Diet has arrived: how to lose weight and hair through stress and poor nutrition (www.fourmilab.ch/hackdiet/). Despite its tongue-in-cheek name, it's a serious project by a geek, teaching geeks to "hack" their bodies. Just do it.

Welcome to the Earth Edition of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (www.h2g2.com). The universe's greatest guide finally comes to our (mostly) harmless mudball.

The idea naturally follows the guide described in the books, relying on "researcher" entries. Anyone can register and become a researcher. The guide has editors who wade through the submissions, picking what makes the cut and what doesn't.

While visiting the site, you must check out the field reports from Archduke Leopold the Terrible (III).

A fun idea--and if the site ever hits a critical mass of participants, it may actually become useful guide.