From bad to Worcestershire

>> The Dino Martinis gravitate toward nasty old men

by RUPERT BOTTENBERG

You gotta love it when a band has a mascot, an inseparable icon. Pink Floyd had their pig, Devo had Booji Boy, Iron Maiden have Eddy. Not to be outdone, Calgary's Dino Martinis give the world Cranky Peters, who's crotchety puss graces the jacket of their latest disc, Steak and Comedian Night.

Saxophonist Jordan Kawchuk explains: "He was a famous, famous... actually, he wasn't that famous. He was a comedian in the '50s. He was our inspiration. He was cranky--in fact, it took us years to get his attention, but when he finally died he kinda passed this along to us: 'The show is the most important thing. Go out there and kill 'em.'"

Kawchuk claims the Dinos warmed the audience up for the man--"a couple of times. We opened for the act opening for him. He was a master--before Lenny Bruce, he was the king of belligerence. He did have a message, we just haven't figured out what it is yet."

While the veracity of Mr. Peter's actual existence remains questionable, he does seem the perfect poster boy for the Dinos' brand of dinner club decadence. "It's nice to ride the swing wave, but we're more of jump blues act, with other stuff in there. You won't see us wearing funny hats, let's put it that way."

You'd think being billed below a second-rate standup hack, himself playing second fiddle to the sirloin special, would be a sign from above for the Dinos to give it up. Truth is, it's easier opening for a failed Jerry Lewis than for a legend like Jerry Lee Lewis.

"He hasn't changed, you know," says Kawchuk. "He's playing Edmonton on an off night, but he's flying in on a jet, with his entourage of guys around him--you can't get near him. After the show, I bumped into the tour manager and got a picture. I got to Jerry Lee and asked him for an autograph. He said, 'what's your name, son?' I said, 'Jordan.' He looked at me and said, 'Well, that's a good Biblical name... Now get the hell out of here!'"

At the Swing Ring (4848 St-Laurent) on Saturday, October 9, 9pm, $15