|
This week: Tricky Woo, hippie beggars, hangovers, disgusting tissues!
Plus: Bitchy hissing pussies!!
"edited" by AL SOUTH F Hey Rant Line readers, I just heard that Page and Plant were making a comeback as Led Zeppelin and I'm happier than a PIG in fucking shit. Finally, some tunes that are worth listening to. Viva Led Zeppelin, baby. YAHOO! [BLEEP!]
M Hi! I just came back from the Tricky Woo show and, man, that was a great fucking time! I've never seen a band as CRAZY as them! And I got the chance to meet Victoria Sanchez, who used to be on Student Bodies--she was the Spanish girl. Man, she is as beautiful as she is on TV and very down to earth. If Tricky Woo don't become the stars that they deserve to be, you are all to BLAME. They are that fucking good. Check them out. [BLEEP!]
F Hi, I'm sitting here in my sister's room and we're talking about how much it sucks that Sessions is not going on anymore--it was the only really good drum & bass night in this city. There are a few that are starting up that may have a bit of potential, but most of it is this WACK drum & bass that just sucks from these people who have no taste. We just want Sessions, or something like it, to start up again! [BLEEP!]
M Hi, this is Cyberman from Montreal and I want to say thank you to everyone who came to the party Popsicle and everyone who worked hard for the party. We had an excellent VIBE and I want to thank everyone because everyone did it for us. [BLEEP!]
M I'm calling just to say that I'm feeling pretty drunk on Molson Export right now--I have been for days. And the rave is still on and I'm still POOR and that sucks. Thank you very much. [BLEEP!]
M Hi, I just want to know--where do hangovers come from anyway? I know they come from alcohol, but what is the physiological cause for that? Is it because the alcohol goes into our BRAIN while we are asleep or something? I just want to know this shit. I'm sure that a lot of people would be enlightened by this information. [BLEEP!]
F I want everyone to know that they cut down trees to make TISSUES. I'm amazed at how many people I know are buying loads and loads--BOXES--of tissues. It's disgusting and irresponsible. They cut down trees for this! People, please encourage your friends and family to stop buying tissues. If you need to blow your nose use some toilet paper! [BLEEP!]
M That Guru rant was all the rave. Get real people, it was fucking hilarious. I was almost shitting myself reading it. Come to think of it, I was shitting at the time. Tears of laughter mingling with the STENCH of defecation is a Rant Line tradition with me. You people need to grow a sense of humour. [BLEEP!]
M I'm calling for a boycott of HIPPIES who go begging for money on Bishop near Ste-Catherine. Just because I tell you to get a fucking job like the rest of the people who support your sorry ass day after day, doesn't give you the right to disrespect my mother, you worthless excuse for a life form. You're just a PARASITE and that's even worse than a sack of shit. You're no hippie, you're nothing. Rot in hell! Hi mom. [BLEEP!]
F Yeah hi, I'm calling for the Mirror. Mirror, doesn't it reflect an image? And guess who you see? Yes, you see yourself and your own conscious corruption. Stop the clubs, stop the raves, stop the festivals, stop the cars, stop the NAGGING, stop the crime, stop the fucking, stop the addictions, stop the drinking, stop the swearing, stop racism, stop making fun of other cultures--we all come from one place. Stop hitting, stop killing, stop terrorism, stop arguing, stop lying, stop pretending, stop bitching, stop, stop, stop! Stop and think of what, where, who, why and when. And now, forgive those who don't know. [BLEEP!]
M Yeah, I want to say something about that Miss America pageant. What's up with that, man? Not one pretty girl there. Geez, man, Americans, they're all ugly, man. [BLEEP!]
M Hi, I want to rant about CATS. I think they're disgusting animals. My friend went out of town and she asked my friend and I to go feed her pussy. We went to her house and her pussy JUMPED out at us and we got so scared and didn't know what to do. We tried to feed her but she was all over the place--under the sink, under the table--and I just hated it. And then her pussy HISSED at me. I don't like them at all because they're bitchy animals. And then I got in trouble from my friend because her pussy doesn't have TEETH and we fed her the wrong food. What a bitch. [BLEEP!]
M Goddamn it, I hate prairie dogs! Annoying little fuckers. [BLEEP!]
M Zebra Mussels, zebra mussels, zebra mussels! Everywhere zebra mussels! They're taking over fast! Stop the zebra mussels! [BLEEP!]
Next week: Open forum |