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Rhomb with a view (and a beer) >> Antipodal antics with Frenzal Rhomb
by JOHNSON CUMMINS
Yet when one thinks of the inhabitants of this great big island, one thinks of loud, drunken, brutish, violent yahoos clutching their Fosters, screaming things like, "Throw another 'roo on the barbie, Bruce!" Originally set up as a country to house the United Kingdom's criminal element, Australia spits out yobs whose loutish behaviour has proven to be as welcome in other countries as a fart in an elevator or an endless bass solo. In fact, the Aussie's reputation abroad has gotten so bad that the entire food and beverage industry in Europe has been conditioned to run in fear as soon as they hear, "Good on ya, mate." Australians Frenzal Rhomb (whose drummer is simply known as Get Fucked) like to subscribe to the "if the glove fits..." theory as far as the Aussie reputation goes. Their offensive hits "Do You Want to Fight Me," "I Know Everything About Everything" and "I Don't Need Your Loving" are almost considered national anthems in their home country. "We are always treated really nice whenever we go to the States," notes singer Jason Whaley, "and quite frankly I don't understand why, because we're really not nice people and we love acting like wankers." The Australians' rambunctious behaviour isn't exclusively reserved for activities abroad, as witnessed when Frenzal Rhomb took the stage at Sydney, Australia's Big Day Out festival, which resulted in a full-fledged riot of 15,000 people. "Yeah, that was pretty cool," deadpans Whaley. "They started tearing down the sound tower and just going crazy. I'm kind of used to this reaction, though, because once people see our rugged good looks and synchronized dance steps, they just can't contain themselves." Despite the fact that the average Aussie thinks Geddy Lee is our Prime Minister, Whaley is quick to agree that Canadians and Australians have much in common, and that we truly are just their cousins to the North. We both love beer, we both have large land mass (now there's a pick up line if I ever heard one!), we both love beer. Much like how Australia was colonized, we too have a community made up of criminals, called Vancouver. Did I mention that we both love beer? Let's face it, we're just Australians with sweaters on. After an arousing and emotionally-charged rendition of "God Save the Queen" with my Commonwealth brother, we both collapse until Whaley finally breaks the silence. "Y'know, once we hit Canada I think we are going to become the ambassadors of the new Australia. Canada has shown us to be quiet and polite, so when we show up there we are going to come bearing gifts, presents and money for all of our Canadian friends." Really? Presents, money and gifts? All of a sudden Whaley puts on his thickest Aussie accent and fires back, "Not bloody likely, mate!"
With Chixdiggit at Foufounes Électriques on Sunday, August 29, 8pm, $8 |
When you think of Australia, you think of cute and cuddly koala bears frolicking in eucalyptus trees, hats with corks on 'em, wombats, boomerangs and kangaroos? Pretty, huh!?