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This week: Scooter generation, estrogen punk, Mickey D junk!
Plus: Dissing Petula, looking for Beulah!!
"edited" by AL SOUTH M Hi, this is Carl and I've been in NYC for the past 10 years. But now I'm back and wondering if there is any club where I can listen to Brit-pop and ska without having to hear that crappy electro and disco new wave shit? I've heard about the PVC nights but what the fuck does PVC have to do with my SCOOTER GENERATION? Long live the Who! Fuck all the techno people! [BLEEP!]
M Okay, Fetish Night at Club Cream is pretty cool, but the music fuckin' sucks. They should play something cool like glam rock or Goth or metal or anything cool. Just not this cheesy techno--it sucks and it's not sexy at all! [BLEEP!]
F This is to the guy last week who said that I was duped by the Warped Tour and should have put my $35 towards the local punk scene. In my defence, I paid my $35 to see the Lunachicks. I couldn't care less about Blink 182. In my 20 years of living in Montreal, I have yet to see a decent all-girl punk band--or a decent all-girl band of any sort, for that matter. If anyone can point me in the direction of some decent punk with a bit of ESTROGEN in there, I'd be more than happy to support them. I'm also looking to start a band, so if anyone is looking for some hot, young, angry blood to make some GOOD GIRL PUNK, I'd be more than happy to oblige. [BLEEP!]
F This is about Petula, the old lady who responded to the rant about the lack of ORIGINAL INSULTS for women of colour. I think she's just jealous because the last time anybody ever called her "hot chocolate" was probably, like, 100 years ago. [BLEEP!]
F I understand what Petula is saying, but calling someone "my sister" in the '90s is way different than it was 20 or 30 years ago. I agree with the young woman who called in the week before about feeling insulted when guys on the street yell "dark chocolate," "jungle bunny" or any other sexually or racially motivated name. It totally makes me feel like I'm in a blaxploitation movie or something. Furthermore, I've heard some people saying "my sister" who totally don't believe or understand the meaning of it. It's like they heard it on MuchMusic last week and thought it would be cool to use. That shit is so played out. For the people who sincerely use it, fine. But when are people going to come to the realization that you don't need to relate to a black woman this way. Just come with something real--we are capable of rational thought. By the way, Petula doesn't seem to have so much so-called "sisterhood" herself. [BLEEP!]
F I'm calling in response to that Petula woman who used to work for a family in Outremont who constantly referred to her as Beulah. That's amazing, because when I was a little girl growing up in Hudson, my family had a black maid whose name really was Beulah. I loved her and she was always very happy--I think she came from the West Indies. My mother never liked her very much because Beulah liked to DRINK and apparently wasn't very responsible. I still miss her dearly and would love to get back in touch with her--if she is still alive and in Canada. Beulah, somehow I doubt that you're reading the Rant Line, but if you are then please rant back and tell me how to get in touch with you. It's Patty from Quarry Point. My husband and I have a young woman from the Philippines working for us now and she is nowhere near as charming as you were. We would fire her in an instant if you were to resurface. [BLEEP!]
M I don't know if other people realize this or not, but the McDonalds at the corner of Mont-Royal and Park has the RAUNCHIEST bathrooms in Montreal. You go into the men's bathroom and they've got this funky black-light thing going on--I've never seen anything like it before. It's like you almost expect a couple of STRIPPERS to come out of the stall or something. It's not the kind of thing you'd expect from McDonalds! [BLEEP!] (Ed's note: Intensive investigation by sub-editor Roger Argent has revealed that the reason black lights are put into bathrooms is so that junkies won't be able to locate their veins.)
F Hi Rant Line. I'm wondering what's wrong with all the DYKES in this city. I've got a boyfriend but every once in awhile I feel like rubbing up against some pussy. But every time I start flirting with another girl, they start to flip me out 'coz they immediately turn serious. It's like they're sizing me up for marriage! I just want to have some fun with another girl!! Am I the only BI-CHICK out here who doesn't wanna settle down and raise children with a girlfriend? I just want to CHOW DOWN but it's starting to get really frustrating. [BLEEP!]
M I'd sure like to introduce my jet stream to Erin Selby! [BLEEP!]
Next week: Open forum
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