Janeane Garofalo SUCKS!

>> Or so she thinks (though we know otherwise)

by RUPERT BOTTENBERG

Oh, that Janeane, goddess of feminine excellence for any male with more brains than neck muscles. Sharp as a tack and even cuter in person. She didn't have much to say about Mystery Men (in which she plays the Bowler) but plenty of surly, self-contradictory, neurotic ranting to offer. Here's some choice moments:

"I'm endlessly insecure," she says. "I've gotten increasingly insecure as I've gotten older. As you go through entertainment and get criticized or looked at or picked on or cheered or jeered, you become insecure. Or at least I did. If you read reviews, or someone in the street tells you how they feel about you, then it's like, 'Ewww, I'm scared.' The more I'm in the public eye, the more I give people a chance to dislike me. And people aren't shy about that. They'll go, 'YOU SUCK!'"

Who would say such a thing?!

"One time, which was particularly painful, I was walking my dog Dewey in Washington Square about a month after my HBO special aired. This very intelligent-looking young woman was walking her dog and we kinda fell into talking. She said, 'I just want to tell you, I was really disappointed with your special. I think it was lazy, you were just resting on your laurels, it really sucked. And I say that because I'm a fan.' It really hurt me because she wasn't just some idiot running around going, 'You suck!' She was a mature, thoughtful person, who was angry at what she considered my mediocrity. They say each person who voices themselves represents 100,000 people. So I started thinking more and more about how many people don't like my work. And I get into shame spirals."

So being famous sucks...

"I'm not famous! I could walk out of this building and, believe me, there's nobody cheering. The only thing that the average person knows me for is The Truth About Cats and Dogs. There's no recollection of my having done stand-up since 1985, or all my films. Because the public at large, they don't care! They have their own lives. It's a hundred fucking thousand degrees outside! JFK Jr.'s plane went down! What do they care if I'm bowling or not bowling. So, does fame corrupt? I wouldn't know."

Mystery Men opens Friday, August 6