Angel >> Incorrigible Reform MP Jake Hoeppner Is Reform finally sounding its death knell? Hoeppner, a farmer from Manitoba, has been kicked out of the party for opposing Reform's United Alternative. He's quickly become a martyr to the group GUARD (Grassroots United Against Reform's Demise), who are determined to fight the UA to the death--and may tear the party to shreds in the process. Stick to your guns, Jake! Canada's left is with you all the way!

Insect >> Combat shooting at the Olympic Games A group of firearms advocates wants the 2004 Olympics to include "combat shooting," in which contestants make their way through an obstacle course (usually built around fantasy scenarios with names like "Save the Bank" or "Carjacked by Gang Members") while firing at life-sized pop-up targets. Perks for medalists would presumably include Smith & Wesson endorsement deals and an appearance on the cover of Soldier of Fortune. Obviously they must have forgotten the 1972 Munich games, when numerous athletes were gunned down by the kinds of mercenaries who'd probably compete for combat-shooting gold.