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This week: All Tam Tam Tits all the time!
Plus: Volunteers needed for drunken zoo safari!!
"edited" by AL SOUTH F Man, I just found out that tickets to Jamiroquai were, like, 50 bucks! Are those ridiculous HATS he wears so expensive that he has to charge this kind of crazy money for his concerts? [BLEEP!]
M I've been going to the Tam Tam for about seven years and this rant goes out to all these no-talent jerks who think it's cool to drum and ruin the BEATS for everybody. Stay home and play with yourselves, man. In case you weren't aware, drumming requires rhythm and timing, and when you people keep insisting on playing these ridiculous 2/50,000 beats--beats that don't even exist--you simply confuse the real drummers at the Tam Tam. Stay home and listen to your Neil Peart records, man. [BLEEP]
F This is Tam Tam Tits and I just want to thank all of my fans and supporters out there who've been rooting me on over the past couple of weeks. I love all of you as much as you all love my beautiful breasts and I want everyone to know that I appreciate all of your suggestions as to where to do my next breast unleashing--I only wish you people had a bit more imagination, but thanks just the same. And as far as that jealous little bitch who ranted last week and challenged me to a BREAST CONTEST is concerned, all I have to say is, anytime, you old hag, anytime! And I'll do you one better. I challenge you to get STARK naked at next week's Tam Tam, right beside me and my incredible nude body, and we'll let the public decide who is hotter. Got the guts, bitch? Put your cunt where your mouth is, bitch, and meet me on the mountain next week. [BLEEP!]
M This is a message for Tam Tam Tits. I'm the guy with the GOLDEN RETRIEVER who came up to you a couple of Sundays ago and told you how much I loved your beautiful breasts. I just want to say that ever since then I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I positively adore you and I want to marry you! Tam Tam Tits, you are so much more than a pair of beautiful tits to me. Your eyes, your smile, your laugh, your beautiful legs and sleek behind, I love every inch of you! I only wish I could have told you this to your face that time we met but I was too shy. [BLEEP!]
M This whole PHENOMENON with Tam Tam Tits only goes to show how retarded you North Americans really are. In France, everyone EXPOSES their tits at the beach and it's no big deal. Here, an idiotic little teenager decides to flash her tits on Mount Royal and it causes a huge commotion. Tam Tam Tits, I'm proud of you, you've succeeded in getting the attention you so desperately crave. [BLEEP!]
M This is Jacques Villeneuve and I've decided that I'm not going to participate in today's Grand Prix. No way! I'm going down to the Tam Tam to see naked chicks instead! YOWSAH, YOWSAH, YOWSAH. [BLEEP!]
F What's with all these people taking out their tits and penises? For Christ's sake, if you want to get naked then go to a nudist beach or something. A person shouldn't go and get naked just for the kick of being looked at. Get over yourselves! [BLEEP!]
F Where can my boyfriend and I find a quiet place where we can swim and sun ourselves in the nude without being LEERED at by a bunch of saggy-balled old men? There must be someplace in this city where people are cool and don't start jerking off the minute they see a bit of female FLESH. Come on Montrealers, let two ex-Bostonians in on your secrets. [BLEEP!]
M This rant goes out to all those recently emigrated SOREL farmers--or wherever the hell they all come from--who feel compelled to walk down Ste-Catherine on a Saturday evening without their fucking shirts! I'm tired of seeing these flabby-assed guys walking around busy downtown streets with their big ugly LOVE HANDLES hanging out over their jeans. I swear to God, I was downtown this afternoon and I haven't seen so many shirtless people since the last time I watched Cops on TV. It's downright disturbing. [BLEEP!]
M I miss Howard Stern. [BLEEP!]
M F Hi, this is Steph and Anne and we fully support the idea of a downtown ZOO/DRINKING establishment. We are dying to go to the zoo and laugh at all the stupid animals but we don't have a car so we keep getting screwed. We are determined to make this dream of a downtown zoo possible and are prepared to take any measures necessary--car washes, some Tam Tam tit action, anything for our zoo! We are even prepared to go to Africa and club our own animals! Come on people, get off your asses and let's make the dream of a downtown zoo a reality! [BLEEP!]
F We already have a zoo in downtown Montreal. It's called Crescent street. Go there and laugh at the stupid animals. [BLEEP!]
Next week: Open forum |