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This week: Wang controversy, breasts unleashed, sleek hyenas!
Plus: A cure for constipation at last!
"edited" by Al South F Oh yeah, Blood Orange were such a great band. I can't believe that there weren't more mass SUICIDES when they stopped producing their incredible music. Personally, I haven't been able to smile since they split up. Please don't tell me that it's only a rumour that they are considering a comeback. Please, God, make it be true! Give me a reason to live again! All hail Blood Orange and their SPUNKY new wave sounds! [BLEEP!]
F This is to the girl from Blood Orange who ranted about Dogs Playing Poker. She's just mad because the lead singer wouldn't go out into the parking lot with her and show her just how far he could take a BOTTLE down his throat. You smell, Mrs. Blood Orange! Hooray for the Montreal music scene! Hooray! [BLEEP!]
M Hi, this is Julian from Burlington and I don't know if any of you Montrealers listen to Modern Rock Live on Sundays, but I was the caller who accused Courtney Love of killing Kurt Cobain. I also called her a greedy bitch. Anyways, out of nowhere she starts calling me a white supremacist and saying that I listened to Rammstein. Well, I don't know what her problem was, but the irony of it all is that I'm not even white. She must be really crazy. [BLEEP!]
M Mark Lepage is not a midget! Midgets are always under five feet tall and Mark stands at 5'3", at least. Also, the guy is an incredibly talented writer and he really knows his music. So leave him alone! [BLEEP!]
M You know, Mark Lepage may be a pompous nerd who takes his critical cues directly from the pages of Spin and Alternative Press, but I don't think it was very nice of that person to make fun of his size in the Rant Line. As a fairly short man myself, I can assure you that Mr. Lepage is probably all too aware of his height--or lack of it. You people should really grow up and stop judging people on their physical appearances. It's just plain MEAN. [BLEEP!]
F I just want to call in and thank everybody who saw my beautiful BREASTS at last week's Tam-tam jam. My breasts made you happy and your appreciation of them made me happy. Does anyone out there have any suggestions as to where and when I should UNLEASH them next? Please nobody call in and tell me to take them out at an Expos game or something like that. For one, I hate sports. And, for two, flashing at sporting events is VULGAR and totally unoriginal. I await your suggestions. [BLEEP!]
F To the person who said that anal sex is bad for you--don't you go putting it down so quickly, mister. My boyfriend has been fucking my ass on a regular basis for over a year now and I like it as much or more as when he fucks my pussy! So what's your damage? Are you some kind of religious freak or something? As far as my health is concerned, let me tell you something that even my boyfriend doesn't know--I have yet to be CONSTIPATED since I started getting ass-fucked. If you've ever had the misfortune of being clogged up for several days at a time, you will appreciate just how unpleasant this can be. I can't say for sure that the two things are related but I can certainly take an educated guess. Educated. Get it? [BLEEP!]
F I would just like to thank my husbands' parents for having his cock BUTCHERED at birth. I guess I just like to know what I'm putting in my mouth. [BLEEP!]
M My big old uncircumcised WANG rules! Case closed! [BLEEP!]
M I know my cocks and let me tell you, circumcised or not, they all taste pretty good to me--even the LITTLE ones! [BLEEP!]
M This rant is for that guy who is always playing his fucking saxophone in the Berri metro station. Cranking out the same old stupid tunes in the worst kind of Provigo elevator music style--"My Way," "Ave Maria." Dude, you're ruining my life! [BLEEP!]
M Nobody go to Parc Safari Africain this summer--the animals are all fat and unhealthy and unhappy. They even have the audacity to call their poor hyena SLEEK. It's sick! Sick! [BLEEP!]
M So I'm sitting in Jeanne-Mance park, down in the south end, lying in the grass getting some sunshine and some rest, some people are doing T'ai Chi nearby, others having a nice little picnic, everything is PEACEFUL and then this fucking band shows up with these enormous amplifiers and blows everyone away. These pricks were even louder than the police chopper and went on for even longer. You guys suck and nobody wants your goddamn noise pollution at the park on a Sunday afternoon! [BLEEP!]
Next week: Open forum |