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This week: Midget porn, bootleg crackdown, Dogs Playing Poker!
Plus: Hitler and Eva Braun sighted in Ontario!!
"edited" by AL SOUTH M Doesn't the RCMP have anything better to do with their time than bust Rock en Stock, the best place in town to pick up BOOTLEG Bob Dylan LPs? I'm shocked! [BLEEP!]
M The RCMP should realize that the world would be a BETTER place if bootlegs, drugs and prostitution were made legal. Jesus Christ, get off our clouds, already! [BLEEP!]
M I understand that the Rant Line is an open forum and everything, but you should be ashamed of yourselves for printing that rant from the Alien Sex Fiend fan who wants to go to his school with a GUN. In light of everything that's been going on lately--in Taber and in Littleton--you guys have shown that you have absolutely no taste or sense of decency whatsoever! [BLEEP!]
F Whatever happened to Dogs Playing Poker? They were a great local band. They played Spectrum, the Edgefest, the Hard Rock Café, all the great local clubs. Last time I saw them was at the Hard Rock and they were unspeakably awesome but they broke up right after the gig. Why? Somebody please answer this for me. The singer was hot, hot, hot! [BLEEP!]
M Johnson Cummins said in the Mirror that Rick Wakeman's Return to the Center of the Earth is the worst piece of shit of the year. Well, I think that Johnson Cummins is the worst piece of shit of the year! Rick Wakeman used to be the keyboard player for Yes, for chrissakes! [BLEEP!]
F This is for Chris Barry and Dave Hill concerning their punker-than-thou feud. I was there too and I was just wondering if either of you guys have been tested for hepatitis C yet. [BLEEP!]
F Hi, I'm calling from an east-end video store where I work and it's about 8:50 p.m. and I just served a midget who was looking for a MIDGET PORNO movie. I told him that we had no such thing but that he should check out La Boîte Noire or some other place in the Plateau. Anyway, he's made me really curious about midget porn films and I think there should be a Montreal midget porn FESTIVAL this summer. That would be really cool. [BLEEP!]
F I think Arthur the Diaper Boy was just on Jerry Springer. I can't fucking believe it. [BLEEP!]
F I can't believe this is happening. I'm sitting watching Jerry Springer and the Diaper Boy from your stupid Rant Line is on the show. It's a very sick world, my friends. [BLEEP!]
M Sorry to disappoint all of the armchair anthropologists calling the Rant Line, but SCALPING was used by the American Indians before the Europeans came here. See James Axel, The European and the Indian: Essays in the Ethno-History of Colonial North America, Oxford, 1981. [BLEEP!]
M This is for the pemmican-breathed asshole who responded to my rant about the swastikas being painted all over my neighbourhood. My rant wasn't only about swastikas, it was also about the white power signs and the messages like Kill all Niggers and KKK spray-painted on the sides of places like local day care centres. I wanted to enlighten people to all of this ignorance, but instead I get a bro'--if he really is a bro'--dissing me. Stop the ignorance! We have enough violence going on with the other races of this world. Let's not let it in to any of our cultures. White power sucks! First Nation power rules! [BLEEP!]
M The SWASTIKA is actually a Canadian symbol that was utilized by a small tribe near Kirkland Lake, Ontario. Before the Second World War, Hitler came and visited Kirkland Lake with his girlfriend. It is there that he first laid his eyes upon the swastika. The original swastika was used as a symbol of peace. [BLEEP!]
F This isn't really about the local music scene but more about people who are living on planet Earth. We didn't have any RAIN in all of April so if people could remember that the trees in the front of their house need water it would be much appreciated. The best time to water a tree is in the morning, before the sun comes up, so the water doesn't dehydrate. Thank you all so very much. [BLEEP!]
F To the chick looking for Ganesh cones. This is truly the best incense, it even says so on the box. You can get them from this guy who has a hidden little head shop on Bishop just below Ste-Catherine. Look for the little guy with the toque. He gives out rolling papers to all the cool people. You can also get them at Metro grocery store in La Cité. [BLEEP!]
FAXRANT This is for the guy who wants some strawberry jam without the strawberry CHUNKS. I'm sitting here, naked on my bed, and every inch of my body is covered in UN-CHUNKY jam. Would you be so kind as to come over here and lick it off? [BLEEP!]
Next week: Open forum
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