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And the geek shall inherit the Earth >> Deconstructing the nerd factor of Atom and His Package by JOHNSON CUMMINS
It's Friday night slowly turning into Saturday morning and most "cool" people are out at toga keggers or bumping and grinding to the hip and hep sounds of Love Inc. But do you think Atom is fitting himself for some good old-fashioned bedsheet wearing, beer chugaluggin' or shakin' his electric boogaloo to some of Chris Sheppard's finest? Think again, Fonzie. There'll be no glo-sticks or forties of malt liquor for this geek. No siree, chances are "the king" would rather be watching a bootleg version of the Star Wars trailer or perhaps talking to his fellow geeks in cyberspace on the Xena chat line. Atom is L7 all the way baby, from his tuxedo T-shirt to his velcro sneakers. So how did our reluctant recipient of the crown of dorks get so downright dorky? Well, the author of such testaments as "After School Special Stands For A.S.S." or the lovely couplet, "I often do the number two/I'm the always often pooping Jew" is slow to answer. As he takes the time to formulate the perfect response, my mind races. Could it be living with his parents throughout adulthood? A love of Spawn figurines and "fantasy" games? Sweat gland disorder? Sebadoh? Bedwetting? Years of sewing name labels into pairs of "butthuggers" (Fruit of the Loom Y-fronts)? Coin collecting? Having conversations with his pet fish concerning his tax returns? Just how did he get so downright squaresville, supa-dufus, hardcore dork anyhow? After what seems like eons of silence, the king's nasal twang swallows up the silence. "Hmm. I don't know... I guess I'm just a real loser." All hail the king.
With Endgame and All the Answers at Underworld on Saturday, May 1, 8pm, $5 |
Attention all persons myopic, fashionably confused and Japanime-obsessed. There walks among us a man that will lead all of you to geekdom heaven. Once you hear Ottawa's one-man-band Atom and His Package fire up the old sequencer and wrap his trademark nasal vocals around sermons on Sting, his dog, bowel movements and black metal, you'll quickly fall at his feet proclaiming, "Atom, king of geeks, let me revel in your dorkiness."