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Yeast side story >> Vaginal Croutons approach their salad days by CHRIS BARRY
Although rumour has it that the Croutons were all enrolled at Wagar High School only a few years ago, the members, who occasionally slip into Spinal Tap-inspired British accents, claim to have been around for over 16 years and been through several dozen incarnations. Apparently, the latest lineup came about when Jackoff and guitarist Harry Sacks got together in a Manchester bathroom stall and, after comparing penises, discovered they were both so impressed that they "just had to form a band." After releasing a song on The Dollar Store Project compilation album in 1998, Jackoff and Sacks were joined by Brutus the Bassist and drummer Spongy Crackers. Their mission: to bring hardcore punk rock back to the people. "We feel a real kinship with the Ripcordz," says Crackers. "They're the only other band in Montreal who share a similar history." (Will Paul Gott please contact the Mirror and explain this?--music ed.) Regardless of the accuracy of their legend, the latest version of the VC have built themselves a nice little following. "We think it might be because of all the graffiti around town that bears our name," quips Crackers, in reference to the infamous VC tagging crew who seem to have left their mark on every metro station west of Pie-IX. These days the Vaginals are well lubricated and ready to take the world by storm with their new CD Eight Ball Stench. They claim that their "hit," the theme from The Littlest Hobo, is one of the most downloaded songs from the MP3 Internet site, and they've managed to catch the attention of one-time Dead Boys producer/now CBGBs booker and label head Genya Ravan. Says Jackoff: "Genya thinks we're adorable." If all goes according to plan, the Croutons will be in Manhattan later this spring to take the town by storm, sleep with Genya and record their first full-length CD of Misfits-inspired punk rock for CBGBs Records. "When it comes right down to it, the Vaginal Croutons are just four guys who care about nothing more than having a good time," philosophizes Jackoff. "You know, we're punk rock." With Mold and Nogoodnix at Jailhouse Rock on Saturday, April 17, 9pm, $4
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Every once in a while a band comes along with a name so catchy that people want to like them. Say hello to Côte-St-Luc's Vaginal Croutons. Gross, stupid and offensive, the Croutons have picked a monicker that perfectly suits their sound and ideology--an important and difficult accomplishment that merits acknowledgement. Doesn't it? "Girls," says singer Johnny Jackoff, "don't generally seem to be as fond of the name as we are."