Angel >> Y2K-compliant pacemakers Another day, another panicky millenium-bug story in your morning newspaper. Amid all the paranoia, it's nice to know that, somewhere, at least one hidden bureaucracy is doing its job. This week, the General Directorate for Year 2000 Adaptation, a subdivision of Quebec's Health and Social Services department, proudly and reassuringly announced that the province's pacemakers and defibrillators will not short out when the clock strikes midnight and the new year arrives. Thank heaven.

Insect >> Toxic PVC-plastic blood bags Meanwhile, over in Ottawa, Health Minister Allan Rock announced this week that the nation's blood bags are perfectly safe. This despite a Greenpeace study which shows that the bags are leaching DEHP, a toxic additive linked to cancer in animal tests, into the blood supply. Despite Rock's reassuring words, he says he's leaving the door open to "any new information" on the issue. The National Federation of Nurses' Unions continues to pressure hospitals to stop using the bags. In the meantime, your Y2K-compliant pacemaker will keep pumping your toxin-laced transfused blood round and round your body. Maybe you should be panicking after all.