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Toronto for sluts >> The gay man's guide to getting porked in Hogtown by JOEY RIVIERA
* Orgy? Sounds swellegant Those possessing membership to the in health club of the season, rudimentary social skills and at least one item of clothing made of lycra are pretty much assured of invitations to bizarre open-bar, open-air drug bazaar house parties. Hired drag performers are a sine qua non. Inevitably, these affairs degenerate into orgies once the effect of hard drugs finally puts an end to vacuous conversation about what kind of creatine works best. * Gym Dandys The unofficial "gay gyms" are a total non-stop pill-popping party. Typical weight-room spectacles might include a 40-something man whose tan is actually not fake 'n' bake but the by-product of a recent Hawaiian vacation he can well-afford with his executive salary, suddenly, apropos of nothing, breaking out and dancing in between sets and telling everyone within earshot how great Ecstasy flashbacks are. Most of the creatine scene would probably be too busy checking out one of the porn stars in the room anyhow. (Kudos to Montreal's own Falcon Studios star, Tristan Paris, for his nomination in the annual Gay Porn Awards, in the category of "Best Butt." We haven't seen the end of him. Or have we?) * Bathhouse Bettys Bathhouses can be like Planet Dagobah: dank and dark, where gross old guys who look like Yoda want you to use the force with them. But for those who want to succumb to the dark side, there's no shortage of bathhouses in T.O., including a "branch" of Montreal's most innovative franchise operation, the St-Marc Sauna. (What's next? Starfucks latté house and all-male steam room? Actually, that could really catch on in Toronto.) Fortunately, Torontonians' generally well-developed innate sense of civic duty extends to bathhouse, er, culture, where it's common to hear guys politely "negotiate" sex, i.e., "Pleased to meet you Jim, I'm Dan. Would you be amenable to my sucking your cock?" "Sounds great! Perhaps later you can plunder my manpussy." Why pay exorbitant amounts of money for a Toronto apartment when all you really need is a locker and a towel? (T.O. papers have in fact reported that many homeless have been seeking refuge at the baths during recent cold nights.) * "Waterboy Wednesday: cum get wet!" Naked parties are a regular weekly institution at least two nightspots (as are underwear parties where underwear is optional). Subterranean dungeons are also quite popular. One such place boasts of two fully stocked, licensed bars in the centre of its maze of glory-hole packed narrow corridors and hidden chambers accessible only by crawling through pipes and under obstacles. It's like Habitrail (gerbil not included).
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Don't be fooled by the staid, conservative attitude projected by many Torontonians, both gay and straight. The aptly named Hogtown is a hotbed of kinky backroom porking. For sexually liberated (read: obsessed) gay men, this town has plenty to offer: